Scrape that Car

When I was a freshman in high school my older sister was 17, and she was allowed to drive a car to school as long as she wasn't late for class.  I was allowed to sit in my sister's car which saved me from the 30 minute walk I would have done otherwise.  Of course Julie knew her schedule well, and she would park her car near the door to her classroom and walk in right on time.  I had to run to make it to the other side of the building on time.

Obviously I was grateful for the ride, but on those cold Utah winter days I knew that the car windows would need to be scraped (for my Texan friends: ice forms naturally on car windows on cold nights).  I decided I would scrape her window and warm her car to show her I was grateful for the ride... and because I couldn't afford for her to be late.  When my sister came she thanked me and I felt like I had done something good.

The next few days I scraped her windows and warmed up the car.  It meant I needed to get out there 20 freezing minutes earlier, but a little brother will do a lot to impress an older sister.  But then I noticed she didn't even say thanks when she got in the car anymore.  I realized that my awesome service didn't mean much anymore.  One particularly cold day there was a light layer of snow, and I was running behind.  I got out to the car only 5 minutes early, and I hadn't scraped half the windows or started the car by the time my sister came.

Ooo she was mad!  She had to grab a scraper and scrape half the car, and when we finally got in the car was freezing.  On the way to school I was informed of how ungrateful I was.  Julie drove the car and paid for the gas and all she asked me to do was to have it ready when it was time to go and was that too much to ask and why wasn't I ready on time because if I really wanted a ride from her I couldn't just expect to be so lazy and immature and she hadn't scheduled in the time for that and now she was going to be late which is a big deal when you're a senior and I was only a freshmen and how could I understand the trouble I had caused her that day and on and on.  I was glad when we got to the high school.

Before you blame my sister think of how often you do this.  The Lord gives us everything, and helps out of scrape after scrape.  At first we pray with sincere gratitude, but then my prayers tend to get repetitive, and the first time something goes wrong I furiously pray for God to get on the ball.  "O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?" (D&C 121:1).  If we could see it from the Lord's perspective He is saying "[I] created you, and granted unto you your lives, for which ye are indebted unto [me]"  (Mosiah 2:23).   I wonder if the Lord feels as hurt as I did, "And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey not his commandments." (D&C 59:21)

That afternoon I was reminded that as a passenger it was my duty to make sure Julie wasn't late.  My mother overheard the conversation and since getting to school on time is a rule for using the car she wanted to know what I had done.  I explained that I had tried to scrape the car but I was late, and besides I am lucky if I can make it to my class on time because Julie always parks on the other side of the building.  My mother then turned on Julie and informed her that she was equally responsible for scraping the windows and I did not use any extra gas and if Julie wanted to keep using her parents car she would park in the middle lot so that we could both make it to class on time.

My sister was not amused.  As she stormed to her room she sneered into my ear, "Do you need me to hold your hand and walk you to class too?"

Keep in mind that one of my goals in life was to impress my sister, and darned if that was impossible!  I tried to figure out a solution, but the fact was I couldn't erase what my mom heard, and I couldn't get Julie out of trouble, and besides I felt more than a little chagrined.  As I stared out the window I realized there was light snow melting which would turn to ice and it was supposed to snow more all night.  The car would be awful to scrape in the morning.  Then I got a plan.

I think Lord does this sometimes too.  His divine motivation is not revenge, the way my teenage brain was.  "For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth" (Hebrews 12:6).  There have been times in my life when a sore trial has reminded me that I have not been as close to the Lord as I should be.

The next morning twenty five minutes before it would be time to leave I put my backpack on the other side of my sisters door.  I went in the kitchen, bundled up, grabbed my personal ice scraper, and jangled my mother's set of keys (without touching Julie's keys).  Then I made a show of getting my backpack holding the ice scraper.  After I was sure my sister had seen me I headed out the front door.  Seeing a foot of new snow on the ground made my resolve waver, but an angry teenager is unstoppable.  Throwing the scraper in my backpack I ran to the high school.  I barely made it to class, exhausted, freezing, and overheated, but on time.

I never heard how Julie's morning went that day.  I do know that afternoon she came to me and told me how grateful she was that I scraped her car.  She told me we could work out a schedule and trade off who scraped the car.  And she had found the perfect place to park so that we could each make it to class on time. She didn'
t ask me if I was going with her the next day, but I did.   I scraped the car and we were both to class early.  The next day she apologized for the time she had gotten angry with me.

I think from then on I scraped the car more frequently than Julie did, but she was always expressed gratitude for the help.  Even today there are times Julie will say, "Scott, I think I was a little ornery with you as a teenager, and I am sorry.  I was learning, and I feel bad, but I want you to know how much I love you" (that's why I have never asked if she remembers that morning).  I tell her I understand.  I went through the same age, and there were times I needed to learn some lessons too.

Not every trial comes because we are ungrateful, but when I am facing a difficult time I try to remember scraping Julie's car and make a point to pray in gratitude.  If you have never tried a prayer where you only give thanks and do not ask for anything you ought to try it.  It will be harder than you think at first, but it gets easier with practice.  I promise the Lord blesses us when we are grateful, even during trials.  Gratitude will help us avoid getting into a hard scrape on a bitter cold morning.

Newspapers vs. the Closet

When I was 14 I had an afternoon paper route.  The schedule was like this:
3:00 Come home from school.  Try to stretch out in front of the TV and eat a snack
3:02 Mother "reminds" me I am supposed to deliver newspapers
3:10 Done eating snack.  Go get stack of papers from the porch and fold them while watching TV
3:30 Finish folding newspapers but go really slow on the last few so I can watch more TV
3:32 Mother "reminds" me that my route is big and I won't make it on time if I don't leave now
3:34 Grab a snack and complain.  Try to whine long enough to finish the TV show
3:50 Suddenly realize how late it is.  It takes two hours to do my route and 6:00 is the deadline
4:00 Rush around furiously trying to get out the door.  Scold mother for not telling me how late it was.

Now one particular day I came home and my mother was gone.  It was a rare occasion, which was usually celebrated by gorging myself on the marshmallows hidden in the back of the fridge and a solid peaceful hour of cartoons.  The very thought of having the whole house to myself with absolutely no adult supervision made my imagination soar.  After a chocolate covered chocolate sprinkled Ovaltine ice cream sundae I had the perfect idea.  Chad's closet.

You see my older brother Chad was on a mission in Tennessee.  When he was leaving he took everything in his room and boxed it up and stacked the boxes in his closet.  There were boxes labelled "games", "books", "magic tricks", and "personal".  To a 14 year old kid every label screamed "Open me and loot!" except when my brother left he made me solemnly promise not to touch those boxes.  I would never dare when my mother was home, but this was the perfect afternoon to try.

I walked into my brother's room, opened the closet and eyed the boxes.  Oh it was wrong, but the timing was so right.  I knew it was the wrong choice.  Those papers were sitting on the front porch, but maybe just maybe it would be ok to do something wrong.  I picked the box labelled "books".

Then I had a thought.  In primary we used to talk about such simple scenarios: "Henry wants a piece of gum from the store, but he doesn't have any money.  Should Henry steal the gum?"  And as small children we would emphatically say no.  The problem is when I got older I realized things weren't so well defined.  Is it ok to fight a bully?  Is it ok to tell someone you aced the test when they ask how you did and you know it will make them sad?  Primary is not very realistic for the types of choices we face in real life.

I had always been annoyed with the primary stories.  Not only were the choices obvious, but the blessings so immediate.  "Henry decides not to steal the gum, and that night the Holy Ghost made Henry feel all happy inside because he chose the right".  As if.  "When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things." (1 Corinthians 13:11).  I am so done with stupid primary examples.

And yet here I was facing a choice that I knew was unquestionably wrong.  I was supposed to be doing papers.  That was the right choice.  If I couldn't Choose The Right when facing a simple primary scenario, how would I ever handle the more complicated decisions?  I closed the closet door.  I decided then and there that I would keep my promise to my brother, no matter how badly I was tempted.  I got the papers, folded them, and headed out the door, feeling proud of myself.  Proud might be the right word because deep inside I was miffed that no one would ever know how righteous I had chosen to be.

There's more to the story.  As I was rounding the last street my mother came up in the car.  When she got home and I was no where to be found she was worried.  Apparently she panicked until she saw the newspaper strap in the garbage.  She then knew I had left to do newspapers all on my own.  She wanted me to know she was proud of me so she brought me a candy bar (king size, no less).  As I finished the papers I realized that I was blatantly blessed for choosing the right in an obvious scenario.  Perhaps every scenario is really simple, we don't see it.  "For behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil" (Moroni 7:16).  One goal in life is to see the complicated situations in the Light of Christ until they are childishly obvious.  Maybe my primary teachers were on the right track after all.

Taking out your Endowments

There are some things I think most church members can explain very well.  For example, the Word of Wisdom, where we go when we die, or how to know what is God's truth.  There are other topics that perhaps are not explained well, and sometimes we don't even realize it.  The following story made me think about how well I explain the purpose of the temple.

When Teasha and I decided to get married we chose the St. George temple.  A few weeks before our marriage date Teasha went through the temple to get her endowments taken out.  This was a lot change;  Teasha was the oldest of the children, and this was the first time their six person family was being altered.  Her youngest brother Kurt seemed a little uncertain about all the change, and I assumed he was just adjusting to the idea that we would be married.  The day we left for St. George to take out Teasha's endowments he gave his older sister a very heartfelt goodbye.  Later that day when she returned he rushed to check that she was ok.  His intensity was a little higher than expected.  She said,

"Yeah, Kurt, I'm fine, really, it was a beautiful experience, why?"
"Well, you know, I heard they were going to take out your endowments.  Did it hurt?"

Everyone thought it was funny.  Then I started to think about how I explain the temple, and perhaps it's not Kurt's fault that he didn't understand what it meant.  The temple is very sacred, and so I do not talk about it the same way I talk about church.  There are some things that God has asked us to go to the temple and learn, so it would be inappropriate to discuss it here.  But sometimes that means I hesitate to say anything, and that makes it easy to misunderstand what goes on in the temple.

An "endowment" is a gift, something the Lord wants to bestow upon us as soon as we are worthy.  To take out our endowments means to receive the promise of blessings from the Lord.  The other side would be a "sacrifice" where we try to give something to the Lord.  In the temple we do both.  To "take out your endowments" means to covenant with Heavenly Father in such a way that we promise to sacrifice everything for Him, and He promises to bless us with Eternal Life.    It shows the optimism of the Saints that we choose to refer to the temple by the blessings that we will receive after proving ourselves faithful.

One rule about the temple is that you have to be physically there to get the promised blessings.  That means those who have died cannot get the temple blessings because they are spirits and do not have a body.  This actually a great mercy.  Those who do still have bodies can go through the temple in the name of someone who has died (it is called going "by proxy" or going "for the dead").  Our ancestors in the spirit world feel connected to us as they wait for our service.  We feel connected to our forefathers by taking out endowments in their name.  In the temple another physical ordinance, baptism, can also be done in the name of those who have died.  This is why Malachi said, "And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers," (Malachi 4:6).  By making the temple a physical ordinance the whole human race connects like a family.  This is why genealogy (or tracing family history) is so important.

If  you are curious as to what sacrifices and blessings are promised in the temple read Genesis.  Adam and Eve learned very quickly about making sacrifices, and they also learned the great blessings that come from it.  The covenant God made with Abraham has more detail.  Abraham promised to sacrifice everything, even his own son if required (as a symbol of Christ no less).  God promised Abraham several blessings, including "I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him that curseth thee: and in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed" (Genesis 12:3).   It should be no surprise that the blessings of the temple are designed to bless all people as families.

In fact if anything could trump taking out your endowments it would be getting sealed.  We don't call it "getting married" because the world's method is "until death do us part".  In the temple we are sealed together for life, death, and eternity beyond that.  It is a huge deal that has echoes forever, and it is a blessing that can only be endowed in the temple of God.  We explained the purpose of the temple to Kurt, and a few week later Teasha and I went to be sealed in the temple.

Kurt was old enough to do baptisms for the dead, but not to be there where we were sealed.  We explained to him that it was not because the Lord wants to exclude people from the temple; it's because we need to show that we can handle the sacrifices before we make more covenants with the Lord.  That requires time and experience in the Lord's church.  In Exodus it was only the family of Aaron that could go to the temple.  Now it is open to anyone who proves themselves worthy.  My new wife and I made a point to encourage Kurt to plan on taking out his endowments in the temple of God because we want to bless his family, bless our family, and bless every family on Earth.

Husband: That's a Good Idea

One late night in Denver Teasha made a run to the store.  As she pulled up to the cashier with a cart full of groceries the kind lady mentioned that Teasha had quite a load of food.  My wife explained that she was hoping to cook some new recipes, but she also needed basic stuff that the toddler Thomas would eat.  The cashier asked Teasha what her job was.  Teasha said she stayed at home to care for her child.

This woman gave her a shocked look: "You don't work, but you can afford all this food?!  I would love to stay at home with my baby, but I have to come here to earn money.  How on Earth can you buy a cart full of food if you don't have a job?"

To Teasha the answer was so obvious she couldn't understand why this lady looked perplexed, "Well, my husband works... he's an actuary and I stay home when he goes to work."

The cashier said, "Aaah!  I see, a husband.  That's a good idea.  I can see how that could work."

No kidding - no sarcasm, she genuinely had forgotten that people used to get married, and that mothers used to stay home and care for their children.  In a world where divorce is expected and mothers who stay home are lazy I think we may see more of this in the future.  Teasha was astonished that this woman had not seriously thought of being married to the father of her child.  Perhaps the time will come that a home with two parents will be considered wierd.

When marriage became unimportant in ancient times the Lord said, "And it came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the earth, and daughters were born unto them, That the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose.And the Lord said, My spirit shall not always strive with man," (Genesis 6:1-3).   The next story in the Bible is the flood.  If we lose marriage from our society we will be in danger of great curses from the Lord.  He is too merciful to allow more children to grow up in a culture where families are not united in love.

I have tried to teach my children to expect marriage, and to see the roles of mother and father as sacred.  I want them to consider their children more precious than all the gold in the world, "For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?" (Matthew 16:26).  If they hope to get into heaven alone they will be dissapointed, for "neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord." (1 Corinthians 11:11).  For my daughter having a husband is not just a good idea, it is a commandment.

The Lethal Grade

Being a teacher can be a lot of fun.  I get to see a different group of clientele every semester, and often there are students who were certain they would do poorly, and they are thrilled to realize they can understand the class.  Then there are other students who make teaching not so fun.... the ones who are certain they deserve an A, and they are dumbfounded when they realize they will not pass.  Then they desperately cast about for some way to save themselves.

One of the teachers who inspired me to pursue academics was Mark Leavitt.  One semester we had worked with an elderly student I will call Bill.  Bill had been in the army decades before, and was now trying to go back through school to better his career options.  I tutored him for his math class that was taught by Mark.  Unfortunately math was not his strong subject.  His grade in introductory algebra was below 50%, but his goal was to earn an A in the course.  Towards the end of the semester it was clear reality would hit hard.

Bill walked into Mark's office, closed the door, and explained that his veteran benefits were paying for him to go through school, and with that funding he was purchasing some heart medication that was keeping him alive.  Unless he got an A in the algebra course he would lose his VA scholarship, he would not be able to afford his heart medication, and he would die.  "Basically, give me an A in this course or I will die."

I remember both men coming out of the office mad.  Bill was angry that his teacher would not save his life.  The teacher was angry that Bill would not only pressure him to lie about his grade, but threaten to blame him for killing him.  It wasn't pleasant.  Bill flunked.  No he did not die.

I guess in college you learn more than just math and statistics.  Sometimes you learn about personal responsibility.  "Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil;"  (2 Nephi 2:27).  You get the grade in life that you decide to earn, and there is no one else you can blame.  When judgement day comes God will not listen to "He didn't let me be as righteous as I wanted to be."

"Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity." (Matthew 7:22-23).  But I came to class most of the time!  I tried to do the homework!  Just let me into heaven because I really really want to.


I have seen this mentality since,
"I must pass, or I will lose my scholarship!"
"I need a B or I won't get into medical school!"
"My parents are coming to see me graduate - but I need to pass your class!"
Or my favorite:
"If I don't pass the army will ship me to Afghanistan where I will be shot!"

I try to be sympathetic, but I cannot allow a passing grade in my class mean someone had a good excuse.  Keep in mind their GPA is a mixture of several grades, not just my class.  The rules are clearly defined at the beginning, and I cannot change the rules for one student, and not change them for another.  To be truly just I have to give the students the grade they earn based on the rules in the class syllabus.  To make exceptions would mean a degree from my university doesn't really mean anything.

So how do you pass the class?  There's only one way, "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect." (Matthew 5:48).  Would you like to check your current grade standing?  "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;" (Romans 3:23).  In other words, you're flunking life.  But don't freak out yet, there is an extra credit assignment that can save you.  "And now, my beloved brethren, I would that ye should come unto Christ, who is the Holy One of Israel, and partake of his salvation, and the power of his redemption. Yea, come unto him, and offer your whole souls as an offering unto him, and continue in fasting and praying, and endure to the end; and as the Lord liveth ye will be saved." (Omni 1:26)

You May Now Kiss the Bride

These days we are flooded with things that are neither good nor bad, depending on the circumstances.  The challenge of youth today is to determine when things are appropriate and under what conditions.  The following story illustrates what I mean.

Teasha has some friends (who I choose to simply call the Bride and the Groom).  They were getting married in the temple, and everything was just like the perfect Mormon wedding should be.  The sealing room was packed with friends and family.  The sealer gave them some wonderful advice, and they covenanted with the Lord to hold their marriage sacred.  When the ordinance was completed the sealer said,

"Now there are some traditions which are not part of the temple ceremony, but since that ceremony is now complete you may exchange rings if you like, and you may now kiss the bride."

They gave each other rings as all the grandmothers oooo'ed.  Then the groom leaned in to give his new wife a kiss.

And they kissed

And they moved in and kept kissing.  The kissing became passionate and the hold a little tighter.  Some of the guests began to get a little uncomfortable.

With arms wrapped around each other they were enjoying their first kiss.   An older gentleman cleared his throat.  The looks around the room slowly changed from nostalgia to panic.

And they kissed

One of the relatives finally moved in and interrupted the make out scene.  The bride and groom looked around smiling and left to get ready for pictures outside.

After such a wonderful eternal ordinance was over, what do you think people talked about?  Was it the sacred nature of the marriage covenant, the spirit felt within the walls of the temple, or their desire for the couple to find joy throughout their life?  No.  It was the make out scene in the sealing room.
"Can you believe that kiss?  I think they forgot we were there..."
"I haven't seen kissing like that since I was at the movies...."
"I was wondering if it would ever end..."

Which made me think: "What was inappropriate?"

Was it wrong for them to kiss like that?   No!  They were married, and they had every right to kiss.  That's part of the point of marriage, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." (Genesis 2:24).  There is nothing wrong with the idea that a man would passionately kiss his wife.  I find great joy in marriage, and it would make me sad if my friends didn't understand that one of the blessings of marriage is the closeness that they can now share, including romantic kisses.

Were they not supposed to be in the temple?  Of course they were supposed to be there.  That is where God has told us to get married: "if a man marry a wife by my word, ... and it is sealed unto them by the Holy Spirit of promise, ... it shall be done ... in time, and through all eternity; and shall be of full force when they are out of the world; ... to their exaltation and glory." (D&C 132:19)  It would have been sad if they had chosen to not seek the blessings of the temple.  That sealing room that day was the right time and place for them to be.

So while each piece was good, the combination was inappropriate.  We do not choose the sealing room of the temple surrounded by family to have a personal moment of passion.  I share this story because it is humorous, but more serious problems are common.  Have you wondered who writes the list of swear words?

Swearing is also known as profanity, meaning "to profane", or to take something sacred and use it at the wrong time.  Think of the curse words you know, they probably refer to either sex or God.  Those two topics are so very sacred that we treat them differently, and we don't talk about them flippantly.  "Wherefore, let all men beware how they take my name in their lips" (D&C 63:61) To use the name of God or his Son, his kingdom, or his power as though you were God is like saying, "I know how God should run his kingdom better than God does".  That type of blasphemy is offensive to others, and so those words are swear words.  To talk about sex, the sexual organs, or acts related to them in a joking manner is like saying, "God made rules about sexuality, but I know how to treat it better than God does".  That's blasphemy, it's profane, and it's offensive to others.  We call those swear words.  There may be a last category which is words that demean another race or group of people.  That qualifies as hate speech, and hate is always offensive.

This is the tricky part, it doesn't mean that sex is bad, or we should avoid God.  It means we need to learn how to appropriately treat sacred things.  Since the world is losing it's ability to know what is sacred we must rely on the scriptures and the teachings of the gospel.  For example, "Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain; for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain." (Exodus 20:7).  I am learning to discern what is sacred and when I treat them with reverence they bring me great joy.  Oh, and I learned that when you are told "you may now kiss the bride" you should just give a quick smooch.

Calling Roger

When my father was a councilor in the Stake Presidency he was asked to call a new Sunday School President.  He dedicated himself to prayer and pondering.  As he thought about it he decided a man in the stake named Roger would be a good pick.  Roger always faithfully attended church with his wife Diana and their children.  He looked up Roger in the ward list and asked him to bring in his wife for an interview.

He sat down with this good man and his wife, and explained that he wanted Roger to be the Sunday School President.  He explained some of the duties that would be required, which is why he asked Roger's wife to be there.  At the end he asked if they would accept the call.  He accepted the call.  My father asked if anyone had any questions.

Roger asked, "Just one: Why did you ask me?  I haven't been to church in years."

My dad blinked and thought.  Suddenly it occurred to him that Diana had brown hair, but this woman had black hair.  He said,

"Well, it's like I was explaining to your wife... um.... I am so sorry, I've forgotten your name..."
"My name's Tiffany"

Then it clicked.
There are two Rogers in my dad's stake, and this was the other Roger.  He had called the wrong Roger.

My Dad leaned back and prayed.  The steps for receiving revelation are simple: "But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right." (D&C 9:8).  He had given it serious thought, and he felt good about it when he made the call.  He felt good about it as he talked with this brother.  He felt good about it when he had asked him to accept the call.  It made sense that this was a good man to fill this position.  "Yea, behold, I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost, which shall come upon you and which shall dwell in your heart." (D&C 8:2).   My father asked the Lord if this was the right Roger to be the Sunday School President.  His heart told him it was.

"Well, Roger, honestly I don't know.  I prayed and pondered, and you were the one the Lord led me to.  This calling will require inspiration, so I guess it is fitting that you were called by inspiration."

Apparently Roger was a full participator in the church as of that day.  He fulfilled that calling perfectly and others after that.  The hand of the Lord was evident.  I have asked my dad why he thinks the Lord did things that way instead of prompting him to call the right Roger in the first place.  My dad doesn't know, perhaps he wouldn't have accepted the prompting, perhaps he needed to learn about accepting the Lord's way, maybe it allowed him to give this brother the right approach.  What I have learned is to move forward when the Lord asks me to do something.  It  can be tempting to let mistakes - even accidental ones - stop me from continuing forward, but "we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)

The Evil Mormons Book

One of my mission cities was Tijucas, and as we would walk home we frequently passed a little gas station that still offered full service.  As part of the service a young man named Alixandre would stand out on the sidewalk waiting for customers.  It became routine for us to stop and invite this young man to visit church on Sunday.  His response was classic for a Brazilian: "Yeah, someday I'll go there!"  Which in the Brazilian language means "Not in the next three thousand years."

One fateful day We stopped by and chatted about work, the weather, and we told him that he ought to come by on Sunday and visit the church.  He smiled and droned "Yeah, one day I'll be there" and my companion and I got the distinct impression he wasn't even thinking about what he was saying.  After we left, however, one of Alixandre's coworkers rushed over,

"Did I see you talking to those Mormons?"
"Yeah, sure, they're nice guys, why?"
"Oh no!  You don't want to get mixed up with them!  Did you know they have an evil Mormon's book?"
"Oh, yeah, I think they showed it to me once.  I didn't really pay attention"
"Well stay as far away as you can!  That book is all about how to worship the devil and they dance around golden candles at their church, and they teach you how to destroy the Bible!  When you are a tenth level Mormon you can read in that evil book how 'Mormon' means 'Christ hater'!"

So Alixandre showed up at church that week.  We were as surprised as anyone, but he didn't say a thing about why he was there or what he wanted to know, he just sat in the back and watched.  That ward has Sunday School first, and the youth lesson just happened to be on The Book of Mormon.

I thought it was a disappointingly boring lesson.  It said all the things we had already told Alixandre in the days that we had been talking to him.  That Mormon was an ancient American prophet, and he had a testimony of Jesus Christ.  Even though Christ was born in Jerusalem the people in ancient America had visions and revelations of Jesus, and they taught their children how Jesus was the Savior.  After the Lord was crucified and resurrected he appeared to these American inhabitants (that we now call Indians) and taught them.  Mormon, as a historian, compiled the works of God among his people and wrote it on plates of gold.  Then a modern prophet was given power by God to translate these writings into English.  It is meant to be scripture along side the Bible.  Both books help us learn about God.

Of course my companion and I are secretly watching Alixandre.  He's leaning back in the back of the classroom without any reaction.  We were worried because this was more of a history lesson than a scripture lesson.  In fact the only scriptures actually read came from the Bible, such as "And other sheep I have, which are not of this fold: them also I must bring, and they shall hear my voice; and there shall be one fold, and one shepherd." (John 1:16).  We hoped the priesthood meeting would be more interesting.

The lesson in Priesthood was all about the Savior's death and resurrection.  Inside I was groaning.  There isn't a Brazilian alive that doesn't know the story of the crucifixion.  I figured there wasn't any part of the lesson that Alixandre couldn't hear in any other church, except some of the Book of Mormon references: "Behold, they will crucify him; and after he is laid in a sepulchre for the space of three days he shall rise from the dead, with healing in his wings; and all those who shall believe on his name shall be saved in the kingdom of God. Wherefore, my soul delighteth to prophesy concerning him, for I have seen his day, and my heart doth magnify his holy name." (2 Nephi 25:13).

Our last hope to really impress this investigator was sacrament meeting.  It was fast Sunday, so instead of a nice polished speech the members got up and simply stated that they knew this was the church of God, and that the Bible and Book of Mormon were from God, and the Jesus was the Savior.  I was waiting for someone to share a story about some great miracle, but in the end it was a very simple meeting.  At the end we approached Alixandre.  I decided to apologize for a boring day at church.

But I didn't.   My companion was in tune to the spirit, he simply asked Alixandre what he thought of church.  Then he shared with us what his coworkers had said about the evil Mormon book.  Again we bit our tongue and asked him what he thought.  He said the lesson had already answered his questions.  The talk about Christ had touched him, and the testimonies had converted him.  He was ready to read the Book of Mormon and to know more.

A year after I had returned home from my mission Alixandre wrote me a letter to tell me he was serving a mission of his own.  So often I hear people say negative and untruthful things about my church.  It is tempting to get defensive and want to fight.  Instead I have learned "What power shall stay the heavens? As well might man stretch forth his puny arm to stop the Missouri river in its decreed course, or to turn it up stream, as to hinder the Almighty from pouring down knowledge from heaven upon the heads of the Latter-day Saints." (D&C 121:33).  The Lord had a work for Alixandre to do, and the more evil tried to stop him the faster the Lord's purposes were accomplished.  There is no need to fear what the wicked may say, as long as the Lord is who we obey.

Stake Deer Hunt

It takes courage to admit a mistake, and even more so to publicly announce it.  My home stake, however, has an interesting story that took place in 1950.  It was a mistake that has made me think about my own justifications, and I am glad this story is often circulated in my home town.

In 1950 the Cedar City Stake  was preparing for their Stake Conference where Elder Joseph Fielding Smith would be attending.  I think it would be best if I just quote verbatim the letter that was sent:

Elder Joseph Fielding Smith, Acting Pres.
Council of the Twelve
Salt Lake City, Utah
Dear President Smith:
We are writing you regarding the dates scheduled for our next Stake Quarterly Conference.  The dates set for this conference are the 28th and 29th of October.  Due to the fact that October 28 this year is the opening date for deer season, we are wondering if you would care to give consideration to altering the date due to the fact that so many of our men would undoubtedly be out hunting on the opening day, which we anticipate would greatly curtail the attendance at the Saturday night priesthood meeting, as well as, our general session on Sunday the 29th.
We will appreciate your views regarding this matter.
Sincerely your brethren,
Cedar Stake Presidency.

One reason I love this story so much is because I can totally understand the thinking of the Stake Presidency.  How often do I find myself saying that in reality my goals to keep the Sabbath aren't going to work, so let's make plans for reality.   I'm going to end up watching something on TV, or I'm going to end up sleeping anyway, I might as well not try to pretend I'm focused on the Lord.  But this is not valid justification as the response shows, which I will include verbatim:

President
Cedar Stake of Zion
Cedar City, Utah.
Dear Brother:
I have your letter of September 13th, in which you ask if your stake conference cannot be changed to some other date than that which is assigned for your October conference.  The reason for this change being the fear of a poor attendance because of the opening of the deer season.
The brethren feel that it would be highly inconsistent for us to grant the change of the dates of a conference on grounds of that kind, and by doing so lend their tacit approval to the deliberate violation of the Sabbath day on the part of those who have not the faith to observe that day as the teachings of the Church require it.  This commandment, that we keep holy the Sabbath is one of the great fundamental commandments given by the Lord and included in the Decalogue.
It is our united judgement that it is better to hold the conference on the days appointed -- there are sixteen other stakes in which conferences will be held on that day -- and we will be in harmony with the teachings the Lord has given us, with the members who will be faithful to this commandment
I am sure that the Spirit of the Lord will be present and these members, though fewer in number will be edified
Very sincerely your brother,
Joseph Fielding Smith.

The Lord will never allow us to say, "Everyone else was doing it".  In fact Elisha clearly stated "they that be with us are more than they that be with them." (2 Kings 6:16).  The Lord does not lower the standards for any reason, "For I the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance" (D&C 1:31).  The harder it is for us to keep a commandment, the greater the blessings we will receive.  When I start to think that I have found a good reason to sin I remember my stake's letter, and reaffirm my goal to "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect" (Matthew 5:48).

Soup at Shoneys

One evening my family went out to eat at Shoneys, which is a sit-down type family restaurant.  As we were talking and eating my dad motioned for the waitress to come over.  He asked her to discreetly bring him the bill for the guy sitting a couple of tables away, and to just tell this guy that the bill was taken care of.

My mom leaned in to my father so that she could talk to him without the rest of us hearing.  That of course meant we worked extra hard to listen.  She asked my dad why he had paid for this strangers meal.

"Well, I noticed he came in and he doesn't have the nicest clothes, he only ordered the soup bar, but he filled his bowl several times.  I think he's genuinely down on his luck and very hungry.  I'm hoping this will help him out."

The waitress told the man that he would have no bill today, and that his dinner was taken care of.  This scruffy looking child of God stared at the waitress as though she was speaking Chinese, but he did not look upset.  My mom nodded in approval and the meal went on.

King Benjamin's speech is perfect here: "ye will not suffer that the beggar putteth up his petition to you in vain, and turn him out to perish.   Perhaps thou shalt say: The man has brought upon himself his misery; therefore I will stay my hand, and will not give unto him of my food, nor impart unto him of my substance that he may not suffer, for his punishments are just—  But I say unto you, O man, whosoever doeth this the same hath great cause to repent; and except he repenteth of that which he hath done he perisheth forever, and hath no interest in the kingdom of God.   For behold, are we not all beggars? Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have, for both food and raiment, and for gold, and for silver, and for all the riches which we have of every kind?"  (Mosiah 4:16-19).  My father had just demonstrated what it really means to notice the poor, and help them.  He did it remembering, "when ye shall do your alms do not sound a trumpet before you, as will hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men." (Matthew 6:2).

But surprisingly this isn't the lesson I actually want to emphasize with this story.  I the really important part is that I still remember exactly what happened.  My mom and dad probably don't remember, they helped people out all the time.  They tried to be discreet which means they don't expect me to have noticed.  And yet that experience is engraved into my memory.  That example of charity and compassion has had a bigger impact on me than hundreds of lectures and lessons.  I have since tried to notice when someone around me is hurting or needing help, and I commit to myself that I will be willing to sacrifice to serve them.

I want to do good because my children will see it, even when I try to hide it, and they will forever remember what love and service really mean.  The Lord said, "Therefore I give unto you a commandment, to teach these things freely unto your children" (Moses 6:58).  I don't remember a lot of the things my father said, but a bowl of soup at Shoneys is a lesson I can never forget.

Metal Handlebars

Have you ever gone to bed with a fly in the room?  I usually tell myself "I'll am so tired, I'll just go to sleep anyway.  It's such a small bug."  But then just as I am drifting off...

eeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEeeeeee

And I end up flailing out of bed desperately trying to catch the fly in the dark.  Eventually I decide it's just not going to work and I might as well deal with the problem.  The lights come on, the towel whip is equipped, and a full on battle ensues.

The spirit sometimes works like that for me.  I am ashamed to say it, but often I learn what the spirit is from the times it has left me.  I usually don't notice it so much while I am busy with the day and working, but at night when I go to bed it will hit me.  I think it's because that's the time when I finally calm down and allow myself to think and feel.

reeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEeeeepent

Oh yeah, turns out there was something today that I need to repent of, but it's such a small thing.  I'll just go to sleep and think about it tomorrow.  And the spirit quietly reminds me until I feel like I must do something.  Let me give an example from when I was 14.

I used to deliver an afternoon newspaper.  I prided myself on getting the paper right up to the door, which sometimes required me to ride my bike right up to the front porch.  My old bike used to have beautiful handlebars, but age and use had worn away the rubber grips, which exposed the metal handlebars.  One day while half day dreaming I rode past a customers truck and leaned too far.

screeeeEEEEEEeeeech!

My metal handlebar put nice scratch along the side of the truck.  I was horrified.  My dad sells cars, so I know how much a scratch devalues a vehicle.  Remember that I was raised in the church, and I listened to all my primary lessons, read scriptures and prayed, so you can probably guess what I did.

I looked around, and when no one seemed to have seen me I took off.  For the next three blocks I was looking over my shoulder, and I wandered past that street twice just to make sure no one was out looking at the truck.  By the time I got home I figured I must have gotten away with it.

My mother greeted me home, and soon dinner was set.  Not much was said while we waited for dinner, but when my mom and dad sat down they began to have a discussion,
"How was your day, anything interesting happen?"
"Not really."
"Oh, well why don't you tell us something you learned at school?"

I couldn't believe my luck.  I actually got away with it.  No one called my parents, and if they knew I scratched it they would have said something.  I was home free, and as I snuggled into bed I counted myself lucky for having dodged that bullet.

reeeeeeeEEEEEEEeeeeepent

You know, the right thing would have been to tell someone.  Since I didn't if I had gotten caught it would have been a lot worse.  Of course I didn't get caught, so now I'm really glad I didn't say anything.

beeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeelieve?

Of course I believe in the teachings of the church, and yes I believe all my primary teachers when they tell me I'm supposed to confess.  I believe I will be blessed for choosing the right thing, but darn it!  Can't I sometimes pick to miss out on the blessing of confession when I know I would get in big trouble?  Give me one good reason I should go through that pain.

jeeeeeeEEEEEEEEeeeeesus

I guess the savior didn't refuse the right thing when he knew it would be painful.  Unlike me, however, he didn't deserve the pain he endured.  "For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:  Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth:" (1 Peter 2:21-22).  I knew I would get no peace until I had repented.  "By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will confess them and forsake them." (D&C 58:43).  I needed to tell my parents.

I got out of bed, told my parents, and they explained what might happen.  It didn't matter how bad things got anymore, I had felt what it was like to be missing the spirit, and I was committed to seeing it through.  My dad talked to the owner of the truck.  He said that truck already had scratches on it, and it would have more, so don't worry about it.  I was sent back to bed.

As I laid there I was again thinking how lucky I was, but this time it was different.  I hadn't ignored the spirit, I had done what I knew was right, and whether it was a big problem or not I was willing to fix it.  As I curled into the blankets I found a good word for what it's like to have a clean conscience: peace.

Wheelbarrows of Dirt

My father has a friend named Don Anderson who is blind.  In the true spirit of bravery Don refuses to let his lack of eyesight stop him from doing the things he wants to do.  Sometimes he does need to find creative ways to handle things that might seem simple to us.  My dad told me the following story, and I have remembered it because there is an insightful analogy to my life.

One Saturday afternoon a dump truck brought a huge pile of dirt for a project in Don's backyard.  As typical the truck dumped the dirt in his front yard.  All that dirt needed to be hauled by wheelbarrow across the front yard, around a little flower bed, through the side gate, around a garden box, between a set of decorations onto the patio and dumped on the edge.  Before you ask why he didn't call anyone for help, let me remind you that Bro. Anderson is a guy.

So Don was determined to find a way to haul his dirt to the backyard, but it's hard to count steps and turn angles with a wheelbarrow, and one wrong bounce would create a big mess.  He finally found his solution with several radios.  He set them up where he needed to aim, two on each side of the gate, around the objects, and at the end where the dirt needed to be piled up.  He would load up the wheelbarrow, and aim for the first radio.  He knew when he got close it was time to aim between the two gate radios.  Around the other radios, up to the end where he dumped the dirt.  It took all afternoon, but the dirt was successfully moved.

We live in a dark world, as the Lord said, "And the whole world lieth in sin, and groaneth under darkness and under the bondage of sin." (D&C 84:49)  And yet I have been asked to move mountains.  The path may be straight and narrow, but my feet sometimes lose their way.  How can I navigate through life?  I need spiritual radios set up along my way.

Jesus said, "I am the light which shineth in darkness" (D&C 11:11), and "the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you." (John 14:26)  The spirit acts like those radios, and when I align my life in accordance with the teachings from the Holy Ghost I find myself getting closer to Christ.  It is absolutely critical that I keep my radio on and tuned.

Let me end my story with the same analogy from Harold B. Lee:
          In my home I have a beautiful instrument called a radio.  When everything is in good working order we can dial it to a certain station and pick up a speaker or the voice of a singer all the way across the continent or sometimes  on the other side of the world, bringing them into the front room as though they were almost speaking there.  But, after we had used it for a long time, there were some little delicate instruments or electrical devices on the inside called radio tubes that began to wear out.  When one of them wears out, we get a kind of static – it isn’t so clear.  Another wears out, and if we don’t give it attention it fades in and out… If we don’t give that attention, and another one wears out- well, the radio sits there looking quite like it did before, but something has happened on the inside.  We can’t get any singer.  We can’t get any speaker.
           Now, I say, you and I have within our souls something like what might be said to be a counterpart of those radio tubes.  We might have what we call a ‘Go-to-Sacrament-Meeting’ tube, ‘Keep-the-Word-of-Wisdom’ tube, ‘Pay-Your-Tithing’ tube, ‘Have-Your-Family-Prayers’ tube, ‘Read-the-Scriptures’ tube, and, as one of the most important, that might be said to be the master tube of our whole soul, the ‘Keep-Yourselves-Morally-Clean’ tube.  If one of these becomes worn out by disuse or is not active we fail to keep the commandments of God – it has the same effect upon our spiritual selves that that same worn out instrument in the radio in my home has upon the reception that we otherwise could receive from a distance.
             We get our answer from the source of the power we list to obey.  If we’re keeping the commandments of the Devil, we’ll get the answer from the Devil.  If we’re keeping the commandments of God, we’ll get the commandments from our Heavenly Father for our direction and for our guidance.

Action Movie Blessing

Sometimes I like to turn on the TV while I study.  Sometimes I forget that I'm supposed to be studying and end up watching the TV.   One night when studying for my Masters Degree from BYU I was at home in Cedar Hills and I got watching a movie on TV.  It was a little old, but as far as action movies go it was fantastic.

I've decided you can tell how good an action  movie is by how many times the bad guys are allowed to shoot before they have to reload.  This movie was around 20 or 30.  Some of the background good guys got shot, and the hero of the story was chasing down the bad guys.  There were explosions, there was fighting, and all sorts of amazing special effects.  The good guy finally kills one of the lower level bad guys and it seems like he has the upper hand when shockingly he is betrayed and now all seems lost.  The hero is beaten nearly to death, but a deadly explosion changes the game!  He's got a weapon and ammo, and bullets are flying everywhere as extras in the movie are hurt right and left.  The good guy has cornered the bad guy, but there's a trap our hero doesn't

*RING RING*
"Hello?"
"Brother Crawford, can you come over and give me a priesthood blessing?  I really need the help."

That quick the movie changed from awesome to sickening.  As the the climactic finale nears I'm fumbling with the remote to turn the movie off as quick as possible.

"Uh, so what's up?"
"I have a very important presentation to give at work tomorrow, and I am sick, but I know the Lord can help me through this meeting.  I tried calling my home teachers, but I can't get any other priesthood holders.  Can you help me?"

So there I stand trying to take stock of my spiritual level.  Do I feel like I could represent the Savior?  Can I sense the influence of the Holy Ghost?  As Alma put it, "if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?" (Alma 5:26)  The stupid movie is still playing in the back of my mind.  Without meaning to I find myself wondering what's happening in the plot...  I am not ready to try to call on the powers of heaven.

"I tell you what," I said, "Give me 15 minutes.  Either I'll come over or I'll find someone who can."

I knelt down at my bed.  It took a few minutes before I was really ready to pray.  I explained to Heavenly Father the situation, and confessed that I did not have the spirit.  I told God I was willing to do His will, whatever it was.  If I needed to call around and find someone else I would do it, and if I needed to give this blessing I would do that.  I prayed forgiveness for not being ready when I was needed.  I promised I would learn from the experience.

The thought came to me: "If you can't turn off a movie in an instant and give a blessing, then you should not have been watching that show in the first place."

I want to follow that rule in everything I do.   Using the analogy that needing the spirit is like waiting for the bridegroom, "be faithful, praying always, having your lamps trimmed and burning, and oil with you, that you may be ready at the coming of the Bridegroom" (D&C 33:17).  If I can't leave a dance and bless the sacrament, there must be something inappropriate that I need to fix.  If I am with my friends, and suddenly the opportunity comes to bear testimony, but I don't feel like I can, then something needs to change.  I promised the Lord I would watch more carefully to guard my spiritual level.

I felt like I needed to serve and give the blessing.  My home teaching companion was home and we went together.  A blessing was given, and the Lord responded.  I thanked Heavenly Father for the lesson on preparedness, and vowed I would remember it forever.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks

When I was young I used to imagine what it would be like to look into the eyes of an apostle and have him stare into my soul.  He would say, "Scott, I can see you have faced many trials, but in four years you will see the windows of heaven open to you..."

Then, as a teenager, I learned Elder Oaks would be coming to my house.  My father was in the Stake Presidency, and it would be our turn to feed the General Authority at our home.  Elder Oaks had spent the last two years in Chile, and it had been a while since he had spoken in General Conference.  It was exciting, and scary.  What if he announced my most secret sins in front of everyone?  What if he could tell me who I would marry?

The time finally came and I looked out on our back patio.  There was  Elder Oaks.  With trepidation I got in line to meet him.  When it was my turn I shook his hand.  In that voice I know so well from General Conference he looked deep into my eyes and said,
"Hello.  I'm Elder Oaks"
"Hi, I'm Scott"
"How are you?"
"Quite well, and how are you Elder Oaks?"

Then he looked up to heaven as if receiving revelation, and said,
"Actually, a bit cold.  I think I'm still getting used to the weather change from Chile."

That was my profound discussion with Elder Oaks.  The line moved on, and from where I sat eating dinner I could watch him.  If I didn't know better I would have said he was just a nice guy.

That's when the spirit taught me something very profound:
Elder Oaks is just a nice guy.
He isn't magic, and he doesn't go around declaring everyone's sins.  He gets cold, he has frustrations, and sometimes he eats things he doesn't like.  The spirit told me he was chosen by God because God needed Elder Oaks to do a work, and not because Elder Oaks was perfect.

Even if I didn't see anything spectacular in him, I remembered "God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty" (1 Corinthians 1:27).   I heard Elder Oaks speak the next day at Stake Conference.  He spoke of the mission of Christ, of repenting to change and be like him.  He spoke of service and how to be like Jesus.  The spirit came again and I felt what he was saying was true.  His words were powerful and the message made me want to be more like the Savior.  I knew Dallin H. Oaks was chosen by God to be an apostle and that what he spoke came from God and not from himself.

I realized that I wasn't that different from this apostle.  I could chose to be righteous and follow the spirit, and then I could be called by the Lord to some great work.  It doesn't matter if I become a General Authority or not, what matters is whether I am worthy to fulfill the Lord's purposes.  "Behold, there are many called, but few are chosen. And why are they not chosen?  Because their hearts are set so much upon the things of this world, and aspire to the honors of men, that they do not learn this one lesson—  That the rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven, and that the powers of heaven cannot be controlled nor handled only upon the principles of righteousness." (D&C 121:34-36).  I want to live my life so that when the Lord calls me I will be found righteous enough to be chosen for His work, just like Elder Oaks.

Visions of a Daughter

I have friend Kevin who was raised in the church, but his life was turned upside down at age 11 when his parents died in a car crash.  He was raised by relatives who were members of the church, but the standards were not as consistent as they should have been.  The result is when Kevin grew up he had a strong testimony of Jesus Christ, he knew the LDS church had the divine truth, but it was hard to always follow the commandments.

He married a wonderful girl, and dedicated himself to staying active in the church.  Like so many faithful people he and his wife had a hard time conceiving children.  As the years passed it became hard to maintain the high church standards.   Finally Kevin realized he would need to choose - "choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the [veil], or the gods [that you grew up with], in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."  (a slightly modified version of Joshua 1:8).  Kevin wanted to follow the Savior's path, but it required so much energy.

His wife finally became pregnant with a girl, and Kevin knew it was time to choose for certain one path or the other.  He finally knelt down, and asked God the same question Job heard his friends asking, "What is the Almighty, that we should serve him? and what profit should we have, if we pray unto him?" (Job 21:15).  Then he had a vision opened.

He saw his daughter who was soon to be born.  He saw her as a little child, a birthday, a party.  He saw a young woman righteously going to church.  He saw her graduate from high school.  He saw his daughter as a full grown beautiful woman going to the temple.  He saw his daughter reach across the alter to take a hand to be sealed for time and for all eternity.  His heart ached to be there, and he yearned to stand in that temple room with his daughter.

He decided then and there that he would fight any and all temptations to make sure he could be with his family for eternity.  It has not been an easy path to follow, but he has faithfully sought the Lord's help and stayed focused on the straight and narrow path.  He testifies of the Savior's words, "For ye shall have great joy and be exceedingly glad, for great shall be your reward in heaven" (3 Nephi 12:12)

When the day finally came that I reached across the altar and took his daughter's hand he looked at us with shining eyes and simply said, "That was it."

Pot of Spaghetti

When our second child, Allie, was born my wife and I moved to College Station, Texas.  Soon I was called to teach early morning seminary, which meant I was gone teaching in the mornings, studying for classes all day, and I was busy preparing the next lesson in the evenings.  My wife often had to manage the family alone.  The tension and frustration were sometimes palpable.

I remember one evening in particular when I had worked extra hard at school and I just didn't have a lot of energy left.  I still needed to get a lesson ready, but Allie was throwing a royal fit.  She was still a baby, and my exhausted wife had rocked her, sang to her, soothed, her, and in the end we were both at the end of our nerves.  Teasha confessed that she really needed a break from the jarring noise, and I confessed that I really needed some quiet time to focus on seminary.  It was clear neither of us was going to get what we needed.

I started to clean up dinner while Teasha poured a bath for the screaming baby.  I wanted to help my wife, I wanted to calm the baby, and I wanted to prepare my lesson for the 12 students in my seminary class, but I just couldn't do all three.  In desperation I looked up to heaven and echoed the words of Joseph Smith, "O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place? How long shall thy hand be stayed?" (D&C 121:1-2).  I needed the Lord's help, but here I was finding myself more helpless than ever.

I dumped out the extra sauce from dinner and grabbed the pot of leftover noodles.  In my heart I told God that I needed His help.  I didn't have the power myself to handle this night.  I explained to Him that I was trying to serve his children, and I was trying to be a good husband and father, but tonight I couldn't do both unless he helped me.  In arrogance and faith I told Heavenly Father I was ready for His divine help and now was the time for a solution.

Usually when I pray I have a two problems.  Sometimes I waver in my belief that I can get an answer, like James said, "ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed".  I remember that night deciding that God would answer me, and I would accept it even if I didn't like the solution.  Maybe it would mean staying up all night, or making a sacrifice somewhere important, but I would accept God's answer.  I knew he would guide me.

The other problem is sometimes I don't hold still enough.  Elijah had to learn this when "a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake: And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice." (1 Kings 19:11-12).  I remember standing there as Teasha laid the screaming Allie in the baby tub.  I was focusing on my thoughts and feelings, and trying to find that subtle little thread that links me to heaven.

Then I started to feel a peace, I knew God loved me, I knew I was trying to keep the commandments... and I saw the pot of spaghetti in my hand.  The idea was crazy, it was preposterous.  I bet Teasha will be annoyed with it, I bet it doesn't fix anything.... What sort of an idea was that?  But on the other hand I had promised the Lord I would follow whatever answer I got, and frankly I didn't have any other ideas.   I walked in the bathroom and to my wife's shock and horror dumped spaghetti all over the baby.

Allie's eyes became huge, and her chubby hand grabbed a clump of the stringy mess.  She said "oooooo" and shoved a bunch in her mouth.  I threw the pan in the dishwasher as the baby splashed and laughed.  Teasha asked for the camera and draped spaghetti around the baby.  In the end Allie splashed and played until the noodles started to disintegrate, and then the whole mess got a double rinse down the drain.  Exhausted Allie fell asleep while I read the scripture block for seminary.

Apparently baby giggles are great medicine for a tired mother.  Teasha was happy, the baby was asleep, and I got my lesson ready, all because I acted on a ridiculous idea.  I vowed then I would recreate that pattern, pray and ask the Lord for guidance, and then move on what ideas I can come up with.  If I replace fear with faith the Lord will move mountains, or sometimes pots of spaghetti.

Rainbow Bridge

My family often went to Lake Powell during the summer, and one of our favorite places to go was Rainbow Bridge.  Rainbow Bridge is a colorful rock arch that is just a little hike from the Rainbow Bridge dock at Lake Powell.  The dock is built like a with a zig zag portion in the middle so that more boats can pull up.  My sister Julie was about 13, which means I must have been about 10.

As we were pulling up the dock the stormy clouds finally started to rain.  My parents were worried about this because we had been wet and swimming most of the day.  They made a rule that we had to wear our rain ponchos and go to Rainbow Bridge.  Then they discovered the ponchos were missing, so we were ordered to poke holes in the big black garbage bags and wear those.

That was a problem for my teenage sister.  There was no way she was going to wear a (say this part with a condescending sneer) garbage bag!  That was not cool.  Ponchos weren't cool at all.  She was going to go without a rain poncho or garbage bag.

At this point my parents had to stick by their rule.  My sister was not allowed to stay in the boat, and she was not allowed without a rain poncho.  She had to wear the garbage bag.  Julie was furious, what is someone saw her?  What would they think of the girl who was wearing a garbage bag?  She couldn't stand the idea of being so uncool.  She was like the people in the vision of Lehi who partook of the fruit of eternal life, but then saw the people in the high and spacious building mocking them, "And after they had tasted of the fruit they were ashamed, because of those that were scoffing at them" (1 Nephi 8:28).

Julie was ashamed of her parents, embarrassed by a garbage bag, and determined to avoid being uncool.  In anger and defiance she threw the garbage bag over her head and started to walk blindly towards Rainbow Bridge.  She didn't poke her head through the top because she didn't want anyone to see how uncool she was.  Had she poked her head through the hole she might have seen that the dock had a zigzag in the middle.

March - march - march - plop!  Julie sank to the bottom of Lake Powell.  Remember that water will squeeze a bag which means she can't swim.  The shock requires a few precious seconds just to realize what has happened.  My sister was drowning.  As she fought to reach the surface a hand reached down from above, and she grabbed on.

My father lifted her straight up out of the water and onto the dock.  There she sat a sobbing shaking mess.  One bystander dove into the water to find her glasses, and managed to locate them.  Everyone asked if she was ok, and everyone was staring at her until we finally packed up the boat and headed back to camp.

I noticed that my sisters attempt to be cool she actually ended up being more uncool than ever.  How many youth started smoking "to be cool".  Or ditching school "to be cool".   How many dated before they were 16 even though the prophet has asked us not to because they wanted "to be cool".   In the end they learn the truth that only through Jesus Christ can anything be cool.  The rest will someday lead to disappointment - every time.  "Wherefore, do not spend money for that which is of no worth, nor your labor for that which cannot satisfy." (2 Nephi 9:51).  The only things that will not eventually decay, be destroyed, or cease to be important are the things Jesus has asked us to cherish:  love, knowledge, righteousness, family, and the priesthood are some examples.  Those are the things that will be eternally cool.  "And now, my son, see that ye take care of these sacred things, yea, see that ye look to God and be cool." (my version of Alma 37:47)