My father has a friend named Don Anderson who is blind. In the true spirit of bravery Don refuses to let his lack of eyesight stop him from doing the things he wants to do. Sometimes he does need to find creative ways to handle things that might seem simple to us. My dad told me the following story, and I have remembered it because there is an insightful analogy to my life.
One Saturday afternoon a dump truck brought a huge pile of dirt for a project in Don's backyard. As typical the truck dumped the dirt in his front yard. All that dirt needed to be hauled by wheelbarrow across the front yard, around a little flower bed, through the side gate, around a garden box, between a set of decorations onto the patio and dumped on the edge. Before you ask why he didn't call anyone for help, let me remind you that Bro. Anderson is a guy.
So Don was determined to find a way to haul his dirt to the backyard, but it's hard to count steps and turn angles with a wheelbarrow, and one wrong bounce would create a big mess. He finally found his solution with several radios. He set them up where he needed to aim, two on each side of the gate, around the objects, and at the end where the dirt needed to be piled up. He would load up the wheelbarrow, and aim for the first radio. He knew when he got close it was time to aim between the two gate radios. Around the other radios, up to the end where he dumped the dirt. It took all afternoon, but the dirt was successfully moved.
We live in a dark world, as the Lord said, "And the whole world lieth in sin, and groaneth under darkness and under the bondage of sin." (D&C 84:49) And yet I have been asked to move mountains. The path may be straight and narrow, but my feet sometimes lose their way. How can I navigate through life? I need spiritual radios set up along my way.
Jesus said, "I am the light which shineth in darkness" (D&C 11:11), and "the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you." (John 14:26) The spirit acts like those radios, and when I align my life in accordance with the teachings from the Holy Ghost I find myself getting closer to Christ. It is absolutely critical that I keep my radio on and tuned.
Let me end my story with the same analogy from Harold B. Lee:
In my home I have a beautiful instrument called a radio. When everything is in good working order we can dial it to a certain station and pick up a speaker or the voice of a singer all the way across the continent or sometimes on the other side of the world, bringing them into the front room as though they were almost speaking there. But, after we had used it for a long time, there were some little delicate instruments or electrical devices on the inside called radio tubes that began to wear out. When one of them wears out, we get a kind of static – it isn’t so clear. Another wears out, and if we don’t give it attention it fades in and out… If we don’t give that attention, and another one wears out- well, the radio sits there looking quite like it did before, but something has happened on the inside. We can’t get any singer. We can’t get any speaker.
Now, I say, you and I have within our souls something like what might be said to be a counterpart of those radio tubes. We might have what we call a ‘Go-to-Sacrament-Meeting’ tube, ‘Keep-the-Word-of-Wisdom’ tube, ‘Pay-Your-Tithing’ tube, ‘Have-Your-Family-Prayers’ tube, ‘Read-the-Scriptures’ tube, and, as one of the most important, that might be said to be the master tube of our whole soul, the ‘Keep-Yourselves-Morally-Clean’ tube. If one of these becomes worn out by disuse or is not active we fail to keep the commandments of God – it has the same effect upon our spiritual selves that that same worn out instrument in the radio in my home has upon the reception that we otherwise could receive from a distance.
We get our answer from the source of the power we list to obey. If we’re keeping the commandments of the Devil, we’ll get the answer from the Devil. If we’re keeping the commandments of God, we’ll get the commandments from our Heavenly Father for our direction and for our guidance.
5/31/11
5/30/11
Action Movie Blessing
Sometimes I like to turn on the TV while I study. Sometimes I forget that I'm supposed to be studying and end up watching the TV. One night when studying for my Masters Degree from BYU I was at home in Cedar Hills and I got watching a movie on TV. It was a little old, but as far as action movies go it was fantastic.
I've decided you can tell how good an action movie is by how many times the bad guys are allowed to shoot before they have to reload. This movie was around 20 or 30. Some of the background good guys got shot, and the hero of the story was chasing down the bad guys. There were explosions, there was fighting, and all sorts of amazing special effects. The good guy finally kills one of the lower level bad guys and it seems like he has the upper hand when shockingly he is betrayed and now all seems lost. The hero is beaten nearly to death, but a deadly explosion changes the game! He's got a weapon and ammo, and bullets are flying everywhere as extras in the movie are hurt right and left. The good guy has cornered the bad guy, but there's a trap our hero doesn't
*RING RING*
"Hello?"
"Brother Crawford, can you come over and give me a priesthood blessing? I really need the help."
That quick the movie changed from awesome to sickening. As the the climactic finale nears I'm fumbling with the remote to turn the movie off as quick as possible.
"Uh, so what's up?"
"I have a very important presentation to give at work tomorrow, and I am sick, but I know the Lord can help me through this meeting. I tried calling my home teachers, but I can't get any other priesthood holders. Can you help me?"
So there I stand trying to take stock of my spiritual level. Do I feel like I could represent the Savior? Can I sense the influence of the Holy Ghost? As Alma put it, "if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?" (Alma 5:26) The stupid movie is still playing in the back of my mind. Without meaning to I find myself wondering what's happening in the plot... I am not ready to try to call on the powers of heaven.
"I tell you what," I said, "Give me 15 minutes. Either I'll come over or I'll find someone who can."
I knelt down at my bed. It took a few minutes before I was really ready to pray. I explained to Heavenly Father the situation, and confessed that I did not have the spirit. I told God I was willing to do His will, whatever it was. If I needed to call around and find someone else I would do it, and if I needed to give this blessing I would do that. I prayed forgiveness for not being ready when I was needed. I promised I would learn from the experience.
The thought came to me: "If you can't turn off a movie in an instant and give a blessing, then you should not have been watching that show in the first place."
I want to follow that rule in everything I do. Using the analogy that needing the spirit is like waiting for the bridegroom, "be faithful, praying always, having your lamps trimmed and burning, and oil with you, that you may be ready at the coming of the Bridegroom" (D&C 33:17). If I can't leave a dance and bless the sacrament, there must be something inappropriate that I need to fix. If I am with my friends, and suddenly the opportunity comes to bear testimony, but I don't feel like I can, then something needs to change. I promised the Lord I would watch more carefully to guard my spiritual level.
I felt like I needed to serve and give the blessing. My home teaching companion was home and we went together. A blessing was given, and the Lord responded. I thanked Heavenly Father for the lesson on preparedness, and vowed I would remember it forever.
I've decided you can tell how good an action movie is by how many times the bad guys are allowed to shoot before they have to reload. This movie was around 20 or 30. Some of the background good guys got shot, and the hero of the story was chasing down the bad guys. There were explosions, there was fighting, and all sorts of amazing special effects. The good guy finally kills one of the lower level bad guys and it seems like he has the upper hand when shockingly he is betrayed and now all seems lost. The hero is beaten nearly to death, but a deadly explosion changes the game! He's got a weapon and ammo, and bullets are flying everywhere as extras in the movie are hurt right and left. The good guy has cornered the bad guy, but there's a trap our hero doesn't
*RING RING*
"Hello?"
"Brother Crawford, can you come over and give me a priesthood blessing? I really need the help."
That quick the movie changed from awesome to sickening. As the the climactic finale nears I'm fumbling with the remote to turn the movie off as quick as possible.
"Uh, so what's up?"
"I have a very important presentation to give at work tomorrow, and I am sick, but I know the Lord can help me through this meeting. I tried calling my home teachers, but I can't get any other priesthood holders. Can you help me?"
So there I stand trying to take stock of my spiritual level. Do I feel like I could represent the Savior? Can I sense the influence of the Holy Ghost? As Alma put it, "if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?" (Alma 5:26) The stupid movie is still playing in the back of my mind. Without meaning to I find myself wondering what's happening in the plot... I am not ready to try to call on the powers of heaven.
"I tell you what," I said, "Give me 15 minutes. Either I'll come over or I'll find someone who can."
I knelt down at my bed. It took a few minutes before I was really ready to pray. I explained to Heavenly Father the situation, and confessed that I did not have the spirit. I told God I was willing to do His will, whatever it was. If I needed to call around and find someone else I would do it, and if I needed to give this blessing I would do that. I prayed forgiveness for not being ready when I was needed. I promised I would learn from the experience.
The thought came to me: "If you can't turn off a movie in an instant and give a blessing, then you should not have been watching that show in the first place."
I want to follow that rule in everything I do. Using the analogy that needing the spirit is like waiting for the bridegroom, "be faithful, praying always, having your lamps trimmed and burning, and oil with you, that you may be ready at the coming of the Bridegroom" (D&C 33:17). If I can't leave a dance and bless the sacrament, there must be something inappropriate that I need to fix. If I am with my friends, and suddenly the opportunity comes to bear testimony, but I don't feel like I can, then something needs to change. I promised the Lord I would watch more carefully to guard my spiritual level.
I felt like I needed to serve and give the blessing. My home teaching companion was home and we went together. A blessing was given, and the Lord responded. I thanked Heavenly Father for the lesson on preparedness, and vowed I would remember it forever.
5/29/11
Elder Dallin H. Oaks
When I was young I used to imagine what it would be like to look into the eyes of an apostle and have him stare into my soul. He would say, "Scott, I can see you have faced many trials, but in four years you will see the windows of heaven open to you..."
Then, as a teenager, I learned Elder Oaks would be coming to my house. My father was in the Stake Presidency, and it would be our turn to feed the General Authority at our home. Elder Oaks had spent the last two years in Chile, and it had been a while since he had spoken in General Conference. It was exciting, and scary. What if he announced my most secret sins in front of everyone? What if he could tell me who I would marry?
The time finally came and I looked out on our back patio. There was Elder Oaks. With trepidation I got in line to meet him. When it was my turn I shook his hand. In that voice I know so well from General Conference he looked deep into my eyes and said,
"Hello. I'm Elder Oaks"
"Hi, I'm Scott"
"How are you?"
"Quite well, and how are you Elder Oaks?"
Then he looked up to heaven as if receiving revelation, and said,
"Actually, a bit cold. I think I'm still getting used to the weather change from Chile."
That was my profound discussion with Elder Oaks. The line moved on, and from where I sat eating dinner I could watch him. If I didn't know better I would have said he was just a nice guy.
That's when the spirit taught me something very profound:
Elder Oaks is just a nice guy.
He isn't magic, and he doesn't go around declaring everyone's sins. He gets cold, he has frustrations, and sometimes he eats things he doesn't like. The spirit told me he was chosen by God because God needed Elder Oaks to do a work, and not because Elder Oaks was perfect.
Even if I didn't see anything spectacular in him, I remembered "God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty" (1 Corinthians 1:27). I heard Elder Oaks speak the next day at Stake Conference. He spoke of the mission of Christ, of repenting to change and be like him. He spoke of service and how to be like Jesus. The spirit came again and I felt what he was saying was true. His words were powerful and the message made me want to be more like the Savior. I knew Dallin H. Oaks was chosen by God to be an apostle and that what he spoke came from God and not from himself.
Then, as a teenager, I learned Elder Oaks would be coming to my house. My father was in the Stake Presidency, and it would be our turn to feed the General Authority at our home. Elder Oaks had spent the last two years in Chile, and it had been a while since he had spoken in General Conference. It was exciting, and scary. What if he announced my most secret sins in front of everyone? What if he could tell me who I would marry?
The time finally came and I looked out on our back patio. There was Elder Oaks. With trepidation I got in line to meet him. When it was my turn I shook his hand. In that voice I know so well from General Conference he looked deep into my eyes and said,
"Hello. I'm Elder Oaks"
"Hi, I'm Scott"
"How are you?"
"Quite well, and how are you Elder Oaks?"
Then he looked up to heaven as if receiving revelation, and said,
"Actually, a bit cold. I think I'm still getting used to the weather change from Chile."
That was my profound discussion with Elder Oaks. The line moved on, and from where I sat eating dinner I could watch him. If I didn't know better I would have said he was just a nice guy.
That's when the spirit taught me something very profound:
Elder Oaks is just a nice guy.
He isn't magic, and he doesn't go around declaring everyone's sins. He gets cold, he has frustrations, and sometimes he eats things he doesn't like. The spirit told me he was chosen by God because God needed Elder Oaks to do a work, and not because Elder Oaks was perfect.
Even if I didn't see anything spectacular in him, I remembered "God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty" (1 Corinthians 1:27). I heard Elder Oaks speak the next day at Stake Conference. He spoke of the mission of Christ, of repenting to change and be like him. He spoke of service and how to be like Jesus. The spirit came again and I felt what he was saying was true. His words were powerful and the message made me want to be more like the Savior. I knew Dallin H. Oaks was chosen by God to be an apostle and that what he spoke came from God and not from himself.
I realized that I wasn't that different from this apostle. I could chose to be righteous and follow the spirit, and then I could be called by the Lord to some great work. It doesn't matter if I become a General Authority or not, what matters is whether I am worthy to fulfill the Lord's purposes. "Behold, there are many called, but few are chosen. And why are they not chosen? Because their hearts are set so much upon the things of this world, and aspire to the honors of men, that they do not learn this one lesson— That the rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven, and that the powers of heaven cannot be controlled nor handled only upon the principles of righteousness." (D&C 121:34-36). I want to live my life so that when the Lord calls me I will be found righteous enough to be chosen for His work, just like Elder Oaks.
Visions of a Daughter
I have friend Kevin who was raised in the church, but his life was turned upside down at age 11 when his parents died in a car crash. He was raised by relatives who were members of the church, but the standards were not as consistent as they should have been. The result is when Kevin grew up he had a strong testimony of Jesus Christ, he knew the LDS church had the divine truth, but it was hard to always follow the commandments.
He married a wonderful girl, and dedicated himself to staying active in the church. Like so many faithful people he and his wife had a hard time conceiving children. As the years passed it became hard to maintain the high church standards. Finally Kevin realized he would need to choose - "choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the [veil], or the gods [that you grew up with], in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." (a slightly modified version of Joshua 1:8). Kevin wanted to follow the Savior's path, but it required so much energy.
His wife finally became pregnant with a girl, and Kevin knew it was time to choose for certain one path or the other. He finally knelt down, and asked God the same question Job heard his friends asking, "What is the Almighty, that we should serve him? and what profit should we have, if we pray unto him?" (Job 21:15). Then he had a vision opened.
He saw his daughter who was soon to be born. He saw her as a little child, a birthday, a party. He saw a young woman righteously going to church. He saw her graduate from high school. He saw his daughter as a full grown beautiful woman going to the temple. He saw his daughter reach across the alter to take a hand to be sealed for time and for all eternity. His heart ached to be there, and he yearned to stand in that temple room with his daughter.
He decided then and there that he would fight any and all temptations to make sure he could be with his family for eternity. It has not been an easy path to follow, but he has faithfully sought the Lord's help and stayed focused on the straight and narrow path. He testifies of the Savior's words, "For ye shall have great joy and be exceedingly glad, for great shall be your reward in heaven" (3 Nephi 12:12)
When the day finally came that I reached across the altar and took his daughter's hand he looked at us with shining eyes and simply said, "That was it."
His wife finally became pregnant with a girl, and Kevin knew it was time to choose for certain one path or the other. He finally knelt down, and asked God the same question Job heard his friends asking, "What is the Almighty, that we should serve him? and what profit should we have, if we pray unto him?" (Job 21:15). Then he had a vision opened.
He saw his daughter who was soon to be born. He saw her as a little child, a birthday, a party. He saw a young woman righteously going to church. He saw her graduate from high school. He saw his daughter as a full grown beautiful woman going to the temple. He saw his daughter reach across the alter to take a hand to be sealed for time and for all eternity. His heart ached to be there, and he yearned to stand in that temple room with his daughter.
He decided then and there that he would fight any and all temptations to make sure he could be with his family for eternity. It has not been an easy path to follow, but he has faithfully sought the Lord's help and stayed focused on the straight and narrow path. He testifies of the Savior's words, "For ye shall have great joy and be exceedingly glad, for great shall be your reward in heaven" (3 Nephi 12:12)
When the day finally came that I reached across the altar and took his daughter's hand he looked at us with shining eyes and simply said, "That was it."
Pot of Spaghetti
When our second child, Allie, was born my wife and I moved to College Station, Texas. Soon I was called to teach early morning seminary, which meant I was gone teaching in the mornings, studying for classes all day, and I was busy preparing the next lesson in the evenings. My wife often had to manage the family alone. The tension and frustration were sometimes palpable.
I remember one evening in particular when I had worked extra hard at school and I just didn't have a lot of energy left. I still needed to get a lesson ready, but Allie was throwing a royal fit. She was still a baby, and my exhausted wife had rocked her, sang to her, soothed, her, and in the end we were both at the end of our nerves. Teasha confessed that she really needed a break from the jarring noise, and I confessed that I really needed some quiet time to focus on seminary. It was clear neither of us was going to get what we needed.
I started to clean up dinner while Teasha poured a bath for the screaming baby. I wanted to help my wife, I wanted to calm the baby, and I wanted to prepare my lesson for the 12 students in my seminary class, but I just couldn't do all three. In desperation I looked up to heaven and echoed the words of Joseph Smith, "O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place? How long shall thy hand be stayed?" (D&C 121:1-2). I needed the Lord's help, but here I was finding myself more helpless than ever.
I dumped out the extra sauce from dinner and grabbed the pot of leftover noodles. In my heart I told God that I needed His help. I didn't have the power myself to handle this night. I explained to Him that I was trying to serve his children, and I was trying to be a good husband and father, but tonight I couldn't do both unless he helped me. In arrogance and faith I told Heavenly Father I was ready for His divine help and now was the time for a solution.
Usually when I pray I have a two problems. Sometimes I waver in my belief that I can get an answer, like James said, "ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed". I remember that night deciding that God would answer me, and I would accept it even if I didn't like the solution. Maybe it would mean staying up all night, or making a sacrifice somewhere important, but I would accept God's answer. I knew he would guide me.
I remember one evening in particular when I had worked extra hard at school and I just didn't have a lot of energy left. I still needed to get a lesson ready, but Allie was throwing a royal fit. She was still a baby, and my exhausted wife had rocked her, sang to her, soothed, her, and in the end we were both at the end of our nerves. Teasha confessed that she really needed a break from the jarring noise, and I confessed that I really needed some quiet time to focus on seminary. It was clear neither of us was going to get what we needed.
I started to clean up dinner while Teasha poured a bath for the screaming baby. I wanted to help my wife, I wanted to calm the baby, and I wanted to prepare my lesson for the 12 students in my seminary class, but I just couldn't do all three. In desperation I looked up to heaven and echoed the words of Joseph Smith, "O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place? How long shall thy hand be stayed?" (D&C 121:1-2). I needed the Lord's help, but here I was finding myself more helpless than ever.
I dumped out the extra sauce from dinner and grabbed the pot of leftover noodles. In my heart I told God that I needed His help. I didn't have the power myself to handle this night. I explained to Him that I was trying to serve his children, and I was trying to be a good husband and father, but tonight I couldn't do both unless he helped me. In arrogance and faith I told Heavenly Father I was ready for His divine help and now was the time for a solution.
Usually when I pray I have a two problems. Sometimes I waver in my belief that I can get an answer, like James said, "ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed". I remember that night deciding that God would answer me, and I would accept it even if I didn't like the solution. Maybe it would mean staying up all night, or making a sacrifice somewhere important, but I would accept God's answer. I knew he would guide me.
The other problem is sometimes I don't hold still enough. Elijah had to learn this when "a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake: And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice." (1 Kings 19:11-12). I remember standing there as Teasha laid the screaming Allie in the baby tub. I was focusing on my thoughts and feelings, and trying to find that subtle little thread that links me to heaven.
Then I started to feel a peace, I knew God loved me, I knew I was trying to keep the commandments... and I saw the pot of spaghetti in my hand. The idea was crazy, it was preposterous. I bet Teasha will be annoyed with it, I bet it doesn't fix anything.... What sort of an idea was that? But on the other hand I had promised the Lord I would follow whatever answer I got, and frankly I didn't have any other ideas. I walked in the bathroom and to my wife's shock and horror dumped spaghetti all over the baby.
Allie's eyes became huge, and her chubby hand grabbed a clump of the stringy mess. She said "oooooo" and shoved a bunch in her mouth. I threw the pan in the dishwasher as the baby splashed and laughed. Teasha asked for the camera and draped spaghetti around the baby. In the end Allie splashed and played until the noodles started to disintegrate, and then the whole mess got a double rinse down the drain. Exhausted Allie fell asleep while I read the scripture block for seminary.
Apparently baby giggles are great medicine for a tired mother. Teasha was happy, the baby was asleep, and I got my lesson ready, all because I acted on a ridiculous idea. I vowed then I would recreate that pattern, pray and ask the Lord for guidance, and then move on what ideas I can come up with. If I replace fear with faith the Lord will move mountains, or sometimes pots of spaghetti.
5/28/11
Rainbow Bridge
My family often went to Lake Powell during the summer, and one of our favorite places to go was Rainbow Bridge. Rainbow Bridge is a colorful rock arch that is just a little hike from the Rainbow Bridge dock at Lake Powell. The dock is built like a with a zig zag portion in the middle so that more boats can pull up. My sister Julie was about 13, which means I must have been about 10.
As we were pulling up the dock the stormy clouds finally started to rain. My parents were worried about this because we had been wet and swimming most of the day. They made a rule that we had to wear our rain ponchos and go to Rainbow Bridge. Then they discovered the ponchos were missing, so we were ordered to poke holes in the big black garbage bags and wear those.
That was a problem for my teenage sister. There was no way she was going to wear a (say this part with a condescending sneer) garbage bag! That was not cool. Ponchos weren't cool at all. She was going to go without a rain poncho or garbage bag.
At this point my parents had to stick by their rule. My sister was not allowed to stay in the boat, and she was not allowed without a rain poncho. She had to wear the garbage bag. Julie was furious, what is someone saw her? What would they think of the girl who was wearing a garbage bag? She couldn't stand the idea of being so uncool. She was like the people in the vision of Lehi who partook of the fruit of eternal life, but then saw the people in the high and spacious building mocking them, "And after they had tasted of the fruit they were ashamed, because of those that were scoffing at them" (1 Nephi 8:28).
Julie was ashamed of her parents, embarrassed by a garbage bag, and determined to avoid being uncool. In anger and defiance she threw the garbage bag over her head and started to walk blindly towards Rainbow Bridge. She didn't poke her head through the top because she didn't want anyone to see how uncool she was. Had she poked her head through the hole she might have seen that the dock had a zigzag in the middle.
March - march - march - plop! Julie sank to the bottom of Lake Powell. Remember that water will squeeze a bag which means she can't swim. The shock requires a few precious seconds just to realize what has happened. My sister was drowning. As she fought to reach the surface a hand reached down from above, and she grabbed on.
My father lifted her straight up out of the water and onto the dock. There she sat a sobbing shaking mess. One bystander dove into the water to find her glasses, and managed to locate them. Everyone asked if she was ok, and everyone was staring at her until we finally packed up the boat and headed back to camp.
I noticed that my sisters attempt to be cool she actually ended up being more uncool than ever. How many youth started smoking "to be cool". Or ditching school "to be cool". How many dated before they were 16 even though the prophet has asked us not to because they wanted "to be cool". In the end they learn the truth that only through Jesus Christ can anything be cool. The rest will someday lead to disappointment - every time. "Wherefore, do not spend money for that which is of no worth, nor your labor for that which cannot satisfy." (2 Nephi 9:51). The only things that will not eventually decay, be destroyed, or cease to be important are the things Jesus has asked us to cherish: love, knowledge, righteousness, family, and the priesthood are some examples. Those are the things that will be eternally cool. "And now, my son, see that ye take care of these sacred things, yea, see that ye look to God and be cool." (my version of Alma 37:47)
As we were pulling up the dock the stormy clouds finally started to rain. My parents were worried about this because we had been wet and swimming most of the day. They made a rule that we had to wear our rain ponchos and go to Rainbow Bridge. Then they discovered the ponchos were missing, so we were ordered to poke holes in the big black garbage bags and wear those.
That was a problem for my teenage sister. There was no way she was going to wear a (say this part with a condescending sneer) garbage bag! That was not cool. Ponchos weren't cool at all. She was going to go without a rain poncho or garbage bag.
At this point my parents had to stick by their rule. My sister was not allowed to stay in the boat, and she was not allowed without a rain poncho. She had to wear the garbage bag. Julie was furious, what is someone saw her? What would they think of the girl who was wearing a garbage bag? She couldn't stand the idea of being so uncool. She was like the people in the vision of Lehi who partook of the fruit of eternal life, but then saw the people in the high and spacious building mocking them, "And after they had tasted of the fruit they were ashamed, because of those that were scoffing at them" (1 Nephi 8:28).
Julie was ashamed of her parents, embarrassed by a garbage bag, and determined to avoid being uncool. In anger and defiance she threw the garbage bag over her head and started to walk blindly towards Rainbow Bridge. She didn't poke her head through the top because she didn't want anyone to see how uncool she was. Had she poked her head through the hole she might have seen that the dock had a zigzag in the middle.
March - march - march - plop! Julie sank to the bottom of Lake Powell. Remember that water will squeeze a bag which means she can't swim. The shock requires a few precious seconds just to realize what has happened. My sister was drowning. As she fought to reach the surface a hand reached down from above, and she grabbed on.
My father lifted her straight up out of the water and onto the dock. There she sat a sobbing shaking mess. One bystander dove into the water to find her glasses, and managed to locate them. Everyone asked if she was ok, and everyone was staring at her until we finally packed up the boat and headed back to camp.
I noticed that my sisters attempt to be cool she actually ended up being more uncool than ever. How many youth started smoking "to be cool". Or ditching school "to be cool". How many dated before they were 16 even though the prophet has asked us not to because they wanted "to be cool". In the end they learn the truth that only through Jesus Christ can anything be cool. The rest will someday lead to disappointment - every time. "Wherefore, do not spend money for that which is of no worth, nor your labor for that which cannot satisfy." (2 Nephi 9:51). The only things that will not eventually decay, be destroyed, or cease to be important are the things Jesus has asked us to cherish: love, knowledge, righteousness, family, and the priesthood are some examples. Those are the things that will be eternally cool. "And now, my son, see that ye take care of these sacred things, yea, see that ye look to God and be cool." (my version of Alma 37:47)
Devil's Advocate
Shortly after I was married on the edge of Cedar City the youth leaders planned a fun activity. A rope was threaded all over a hill - around sage brush, past pine trees, and over the rocky slope. The youth were blindfolded and led to the start of the rope. They were told there were two rules:
1) Don't let go of the rope. Follow it to the end where the Bishop is waiting
2) Don't take off your blindfold, only the bishop can do that
Me and two other leaders were given the job of hiding along the path and tempting the youth to let go of the rope. At first we tried the obvious tempations:
"Hey, come over here... I have some candy I'll give you!"
"Pssst! There's a shortcut this way! Just let go and walk towards me!"
"Look out there's a huge tree in your way. Let go and walk to your left so you can avoid it!"
The reactions from these stalwart youth were like this:
"No way. I know you are trying to tempt me, and I won't listen to you."
"I can hear you, but I was told to not let go of the rope, and you won't trick me."
"Nice try, Brother Crawford. I can tell it's you."
This was all fun and good, considering the symbolism of it all, but I got to thinking - What if I really could tempt them to let go of the rope? What would I need to hear to convince me to break such simple rules? I pondered for a few minutes and then I had it.
First thing I did was to go to the end of the line where there was only one more curve before the bishop. I wanted them to forget the rules, and to be tired of playing the game. I think this is why the Lord said, "Pray always, that you may come off conqueror; yea, that you may conquer Satan, and that you may escape the hands of the servants of Satan that do uphold his work." (D&C 10:5) If we pray continuously we won't forget what we have been taught.
I saw Lisa coming. I said to her,
"Is that Lisa? Good work, you've almost made it. Keep going and you'll meet a prickly tree, but if you reach around the right side you won't get scratched. Good, got the rope? Remember you're supposed to hold onto it for now. Keep coming, you're doing well, it will bend to the left before you get to me, there's a pole right there, then it turns left. Good job!"
So far I haven't asked Lisa to do anything; I haven't asked for her to respond. I just want her to be used to my voice. I'm purposely being helpful and friendly, and I make a point to call her by name. In the Book of Kings Rehoboam needed advice, but he had too many voices speaking to him. In the end he "forsook the old men’s counsel that they gave him; And spake to them after the counsel of the young men" (1 Kings 12:13-14). That ended up being a bad choice, and I'm hoping Lisa will be so used to my voice that she will listen to me too.
"Lisa, you're doing great. When you come around the bend I'm going to ask you what you've learned so be ready. Don't take off your blindfold because only the bishop can do that. I hope you've seen how this is an analogy for life. Four more steps, there you go, and stop right there, thank you so much, you've done a great job, now can you tell me something you have learned about going through life?"
Technically I haven't asked Lisa to do anything wrong, I haven't asked her to break the rules, in fact what I'm asking her to do is good - I want her to come up with life lessons. I think this sneaky trick is why Paul said, "Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light." (2 Corinthians 11:14) Notice - now she has changed from what she would have done because of me. Her goal was to get to the bishop, and now she is telling me about how life seems dark, but there is always a rope nearby, and how thorns and rocks are a part of life. Once I have started a dialogue I can try to crack through her protection. It's time to introduce the idea of sin, and rationalize it until she accepts it.
"Lisa, you have done a great job, but you have been able to hold onto the rope of your parents testimony for a long time. And I don't want you let go of the rope just yet, because I need you to tell me what you have done in your life to gain a testimony without holding on to your parents"
I'm desperately hoping that the difficulty of asking a personal question - the "how did you gain a testimony" part - will distract her from the fact that I just called "evil good, and good evil" (Isaiah 5:20).
"Lisa, you are an amazing young woman. Now it's time to have the faith to step into the darkness. I want you to stand right where you are but take your hand off the rope and feel the slope of the hill under your feet."
Oooo! The moment of truth! It's such a small difference from holding on to the rope and standing next to the rope. But this is the first time I have asked her to break the rules! When she does I smile. I know I've got her from here. This is Satan's favorite trick, "he leadeth them by the neck with a flaxen cord, until he bindeth them with his strong cords forever" (2 Nephi 26:22)
"Excellent, now let's see how the trials of life are when we are moving solely on faith. Take a few steps towards the sound of my voice. Sister Hackett and I cleared away the rocks, but there's still one to your left. There you go. We've got to get to the bishops rendezvous before the next kid comes. Just a few more steps this way. Follow my voice. We're going to turn a little to the left, excellent. You are obeying with exactness, can you think of a scripture story where obedience led to a blessing?"
Her first few steps are unsure, suspicious, but all I have asked are for a few steps. If she chose to repent and go back to the rope it would have been easy. As we take more and more steps I weave to the left, then to the right. I want it to be hard for her to get back. That's why Amulek said, "I beseech of you that ye do not procrastinate the day of your repentance" (Alma 34:33).
After I've led Lisa down the hill I can see the next kid coming. I said, "Lisa, you're kind of in the middle of a whole bunch of trees here" (that's by the way, wasn't exactly true). "So stay here for a minute while I help the next kid, and I'll be back."
"Ryan, Is that Ryan? You're doing great, man, keep coming..."
With Ryan I got him around the bend, he stopped and told me what he had learned, I told him it was time to take a leap of faith into the darkness. We talked about gaining a testimony. I asked him to let go of the rope.
He hesitated.
"You've done a great job in your life, but there have been times you've had to face trials on your own. Ryan, as you let go of the rope, can you think of a time one of your friends challenged your beliefs?"
"They said, 'Don't let go of the rope.' "
"Right, because you had to make it here. Now you're not alone, but you have to walk by faith. I'm like your missionary companion. If you'll let go and walk towards me I'll tell you about the time on my mission..."
"Don't let go of the rope."
"Yes, that was the rule up to now, but at this point you are supposed to stand there and Sister Hackett wants all the youth to feel how scary it can be after you've let go of the rope, now hurry before the next kid comes, if you'll just let go real quick"
"Don't let go of the rope." And Ryan put one hand in front of the other
"No! Ryan, that's a dead end! Ryan come back! The bishop is on this rope, look I have the other rope in my hand! RYAN!"
As he turned around the last bend I heard him mutter, "Don't let go of the rope". Oh the power in memorizing the rules! He was fooled into thinking I was good until the second I asked him to break a rule. His memorized response kicked in, and although he couldn't understand what I was doing or why it led him safely through. Listen youth - memorize those Scripture Masteries! Even if you don't see why they are so important the time will come when you will want them and they will kick in word for word. The world will try to explain the scriptures fifty different ways, but if you memorize them word for word you will have extra protection. Ryan was lost. But Chris was next.
"Chris? Is that Chris coming? There's a tree about four feet ahead of you.. Just reach around the right side there..."
Chris stopped. Chris told me how life is like following a rope. Chris told me he got his testimony by praying and reading the scriptures. He let go of the rope and followed me down the hill. Now I can Lisa still standing in the middle of nowhere. There is no way I am going to let Chris be by Lisa. I want them isolated so they are less likely to figure out they have been tricked. If I'm lucky Lisa will be too embarrassed and mad to even tell Chris she is out there. There is great power in people meeting together in the cause of Christ. That is why the Nephites "church did meet together oft, to fast and to pray, and to speak one with another concerning the welfare of their souls." (Moroni 6:5) That is why I take Lisa southwest and Chris southeast.
"Megan, is that Megan? You are doing great. About four feet ahead you hit a tree..."
Megan comes to me and tells me about following a rope. She tells me how she gained a testimony. As I tell her it's time to let go of the rope and walk by faith one her hands comes off the rope.
"Now, as you follow me I want you to focus on feeling the wind. The Savior once said that the spirit is like the wind because..."
"MEGAN DON'T LISTEN TO BROTHER CRAWFORD! HE IS TRYING TO TRICK YOU!"
Lisa.
Megan is around the next corner hands clutching the rope. I whirl on the girl and in my deepest most menacing voice,
"Lisa you shush right now or I will lead you so far down the hill you will never find your way back home and you know I can do it. Your choices are to totally break the rules and go back without your blindfold and be a complete failure, or you will stay there silent until I am ready to bring you back."
Ooooo! I was ticked - my whole routine ruined! The power of a friend! Megan trusted Lisa much more than she trusted me, and if she said I was tricking them I couldn't win. There is a power in choosing friends that will remind you of your standards.
"Brent, you are doing great man, hurry around the tree you'll hit in 5 more seconds. I want to talk to you..."
Brent came and told me about life and testimonies. As he stood there and let go of the rope I turned to make sure Lisa was going to stay quiet. It was hard to tell from the blindfold, but I think she was about to cry. What a dilemma - I was doing my job well... but I was playing a role that wasn't really me. Then I heard a new voice behind me:
"Brent, follow the rope to the end. I'll meet you there."
The bishop.
There was nothing I could say, Brent knew the Bishop's voice. My power was instantly dead. The bishop walked past me and took the blindfold off Chris.
"Meet me at the end"
Then he put his arm around Lisa and took off her blindfold.
"Oh Bishop! I messed up didn't I?"
The bishop laughed,
"Lisa, you got tricked. I've been listening to Brother Crawford all night. I probably should have jumped in sooner, I just couldn't resist listening. It's been a fun game, and I hope you'll be willing to share your experience. This object lesson doesn't matter, but what we learn tonight might save us from problems that really do matter."
The bishop could take their blindfolds off, and instantly Chris and Lisa were both calm and confident. They looked around at the barren slope and they could see exactly where they were, how they got there, and where they wanted to be. They walked in the bishops arms back the rope. I hope the youth know how much evil hates it when they go to the bishop.
Lisa stuck her tongue out at me and Chris told me I did a good job. It was funny now, but I resolved to be a little more kind.
"Peter, is that you? You are doing a great job. You'll hit a tree in about four more steps... there now reach around the right side...."
1) Don't let go of the rope. Follow it to the end where the Bishop is waiting
2) Don't take off your blindfold, only the bishop can do that
Me and two other leaders were given the job of hiding along the path and tempting the youth to let go of the rope. At first we tried the obvious tempations:
"Hey, come over here... I have some candy I'll give you!"
"Pssst! There's a shortcut this way! Just let go and walk towards me!"
"Look out there's a huge tree in your way. Let go and walk to your left so you can avoid it!"
The reactions from these stalwart youth were like this:
"No way. I know you are trying to tempt me, and I won't listen to you."
"I can hear you, but I was told to not let go of the rope, and you won't trick me."
"Nice try, Brother Crawford. I can tell it's you."
This was all fun and good, considering the symbolism of it all, but I got to thinking - What if I really could tempt them to let go of the rope? What would I need to hear to convince me to break such simple rules? I pondered for a few minutes and then I had it.
First thing I did was to go to the end of the line where there was only one more curve before the bishop. I wanted them to forget the rules, and to be tired of playing the game. I think this is why the Lord said, "Pray always, that you may come off conqueror; yea, that you may conquer Satan, and that you may escape the hands of the servants of Satan that do uphold his work." (D&C 10:5) If we pray continuously we won't forget what we have been taught.
I saw Lisa coming. I said to her,
"Is that Lisa? Good work, you've almost made it. Keep going and you'll meet a prickly tree, but if you reach around the right side you won't get scratched. Good, got the rope? Remember you're supposed to hold onto it for now. Keep coming, you're doing well, it will bend to the left before you get to me, there's a pole right there, then it turns left. Good job!"
So far I haven't asked Lisa to do anything; I haven't asked for her to respond. I just want her to be used to my voice. I'm purposely being helpful and friendly, and I make a point to call her by name. In the Book of Kings Rehoboam needed advice, but he had too many voices speaking to him. In the end he "forsook the old men’s counsel that they gave him; And spake to them after the counsel of the young men" (1 Kings 12:13-14). That ended up being a bad choice, and I'm hoping Lisa will be so used to my voice that she will listen to me too.
"Lisa, you're doing great. When you come around the bend I'm going to ask you what you've learned so be ready. Don't take off your blindfold because only the bishop can do that. I hope you've seen how this is an analogy for life. Four more steps, there you go, and stop right there, thank you so much, you've done a great job, now can you tell me something you have learned about going through life?"
Technically I haven't asked Lisa to do anything wrong, I haven't asked her to break the rules, in fact what I'm asking her to do is good - I want her to come up with life lessons. I think this sneaky trick is why Paul said, "Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light." (2 Corinthians 11:14) Notice - now she has changed from what she would have done because of me. Her goal was to get to the bishop, and now she is telling me about how life seems dark, but there is always a rope nearby, and how thorns and rocks are a part of life. Once I have started a dialogue I can try to crack through her protection. It's time to introduce the idea of sin, and rationalize it until she accepts it.
"Lisa, you have done a great job, but you have been able to hold onto the rope of your parents testimony for a long time. And I don't want you let go of the rope just yet, because I need you to tell me what you have done in your life to gain a testimony without holding on to your parents"
I'm desperately hoping that the difficulty of asking a personal question - the "how did you gain a testimony" part - will distract her from the fact that I just called "evil good, and good evil" (Isaiah 5:20).
"Lisa, you are an amazing young woman. Now it's time to have the faith to step into the darkness. I want you to stand right where you are but take your hand off the rope and feel the slope of the hill under your feet."
Oooo! The moment of truth! It's such a small difference from holding on to the rope and standing next to the rope. But this is the first time I have asked her to break the rules! When she does I smile. I know I've got her from here. This is Satan's favorite trick, "he leadeth them by the neck with a flaxen cord, until he bindeth them with his strong cords forever" (2 Nephi 26:22)
"Excellent, now let's see how the trials of life are when we are moving solely on faith. Take a few steps towards the sound of my voice. Sister Hackett and I cleared away the rocks, but there's still one to your left. There you go. We've got to get to the bishops rendezvous before the next kid comes. Just a few more steps this way. Follow my voice. We're going to turn a little to the left, excellent. You are obeying with exactness, can you think of a scripture story where obedience led to a blessing?"
Her first few steps are unsure, suspicious, but all I have asked are for a few steps. If she chose to repent and go back to the rope it would have been easy. As we take more and more steps I weave to the left, then to the right. I want it to be hard for her to get back. That's why Amulek said, "I beseech of you that ye do not procrastinate the day of your repentance" (Alma 34:33).
After I've led Lisa down the hill I can see the next kid coming. I said, "Lisa, you're kind of in the middle of a whole bunch of trees here" (that's by the way, wasn't exactly true). "So stay here for a minute while I help the next kid, and I'll be back."
"Ryan, Is that Ryan? You're doing great, man, keep coming..."
With Ryan I got him around the bend, he stopped and told me what he had learned, I told him it was time to take a leap of faith into the darkness. We talked about gaining a testimony. I asked him to let go of the rope.
He hesitated.
"You've done a great job in your life, but there have been times you've had to face trials on your own. Ryan, as you let go of the rope, can you think of a time one of your friends challenged your beliefs?"
"They said, 'Don't let go of the rope.' "
"Right, because you had to make it here. Now you're not alone, but you have to walk by faith. I'm like your missionary companion. If you'll let go and walk towards me I'll tell you about the time on my mission..."
"Don't let go of the rope."
"Yes, that was the rule up to now, but at this point you are supposed to stand there and Sister Hackett wants all the youth to feel how scary it can be after you've let go of the rope, now hurry before the next kid comes, if you'll just let go real quick"
"Don't let go of the rope." And Ryan put one hand in front of the other
"No! Ryan, that's a dead end! Ryan come back! The bishop is on this rope, look I have the other rope in my hand! RYAN!"
As he turned around the last bend I heard him mutter, "Don't let go of the rope". Oh the power in memorizing the rules! He was fooled into thinking I was good until the second I asked him to break a rule. His memorized response kicked in, and although he couldn't understand what I was doing or why it led him safely through. Listen youth - memorize those Scripture Masteries! Even if you don't see why they are so important the time will come when you will want them and they will kick in word for word. The world will try to explain the scriptures fifty different ways, but if you memorize them word for word you will have extra protection. Ryan was lost. But Chris was next.
"Chris? Is that Chris coming? There's a tree about four feet ahead of you.. Just reach around the right side there..."
Chris stopped. Chris told me how life is like following a rope. Chris told me he got his testimony by praying and reading the scriptures. He let go of the rope and followed me down the hill. Now I can Lisa still standing in the middle of nowhere. There is no way I am going to let Chris be by Lisa. I want them isolated so they are less likely to figure out they have been tricked. If I'm lucky Lisa will be too embarrassed and mad to even tell Chris she is out there. There is great power in people meeting together in the cause of Christ. That is why the Nephites "church did meet together oft, to fast and to pray, and to speak one with another concerning the welfare of their souls." (Moroni 6:5) That is why I take Lisa southwest and Chris southeast.
"Megan, is that Megan? You are doing great. About four feet ahead you hit a tree..."
Megan comes to me and tells me about following a rope. She tells me how she gained a testimony. As I tell her it's time to let go of the rope and walk by faith one her hands comes off the rope.
"Now, as you follow me I want you to focus on feeling the wind. The Savior once said that the spirit is like the wind because..."
"MEGAN DON'T LISTEN TO BROTHER CRAWFORD! HE IS TRYING TO TRICK YOU!"
Lisa.
Megan is around the next corner hands clutching the rope. I whirl on the girl and in my deepest most menacing voice,
"Lisa you shush right now or I will lead you so far down the hill you will never find your way back home and you know I can do it. Your choices are to totally break the rules and go back without your blindfold and be a complete failure, or you will stay there silent until I am ready to bring you back."
Ooooo! I was ticked - my whole routine ruined! The power of a friend! Megan trusted Lisa much more than she trusted me, and if she said I was tricking them I couldn't win. There is a power in choosing friends that will remind you of your standards.
"Brent, you are doing great man, hurry around the tree you'll hit in 5 more seconds. I want to talk to you..."
Brent came and told me about life and testimonies. As he stood there and let go of the rope I turned to make sure Lisa was going to stay quiet. It was hard to tell from the blindfold, but I think she was about to cry. What a dilemma - I was doing my job well... but I was playing a role that wasn't really me. Then I heard a new voice behind me:
"Brent, follow the rope to the end. I'll meet you there."
The bishop.
There was nothing I could say, Brent knew the Bishop's voice. My power was instantly dead. The bishop walked past me and took the blindfold off Chris.
"Meet me at the end"
Then he put his arm around Lisa and took off her blindfold.
"Oh Bishop! I messed up didn't I?"
The bishop laughed,
"Lisa, you got tricked. I've been listening to Brother Crawford all night. I probably should have jumped in sooner, I just couldn't resist listening. It's been a fun game, and I hope you'll be willing to share your experience. This object lesson doesn't matter, but what we learn tonight might save us from problems that really do matter."
The bishop could take their blindfolds off, and instantly Chris and Lisa were both calm and confident. They looked around at the barren slope and they could see exactly where they were, how they got there, and where they wanted to be. They walked in the bishops arms back the rope. I hope the youth know how much evil hates it when they go to the bishop.
Lisa stuck her tongue out at me and Chris told me I did a good job. It was funny now, but I resolved to be a little more kind.
"Peter, is that you? You are doing a great job. You'll hit a tree in about four more steps... there now reach around the right side...."
5/27/11
Maravilha
About half way through my mission in Brazil I was transferred deep into the hills of Santa Catarina to a city called Maravilha. I was ready to do some great things in Maravilha, I was learning the language, and I was learning to follow the spirit. Our mission goal was for each companionship to have 2 baptisms per month. We were often a little below that, but I was ready to see if I could make it.
I met my new companion Elder Cunningham and he looked like a serious missionary. I asked him,
"Elder, how many people are ready in Maravilha to be baptized this month?"
"None Elder Crawford."
"Oh.... um.... well how many are we teaching?"
"None Elder Crawford, and before you ask there aren't any new contacts scheduled for us to meet either."
"Oh"
Well obviously Elder Cunningham is a slacker, but that's what I'm here for. We'll get the work moving. Since we had nothing to start with, I decided we should go knock on some doors. My companion was rolling his eyes and smirking, but I can handle a slacker companion. We knocked on the first door, the guy that answered said,
Guy: "Hey Elder Cunningham, looks like you've got a new companion, eh? This another American?"
Me: "Yes, I'm Elder Crawford, I take it you've spoken to missionaries before? What do you think of our message?"
Guy: "Eh. This one's a little fireball isn't he? Talk to you later."
All right. That one was a little strange, but sometimes you run into people who are already familiar with missionary work. That's all right, there are 30,000 other people in this city to try. We went a little further.
Me: "Hello Ma'am, I'm Elder Crawford and we're here from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints..."
Lady: "Oooo Cunningham, what did I tell your companion?"
Cunningham: "You said we weren't to come back ever, but I have a new companion, and I told him to avoid you, but he wanted so desperately to talk to you I couldn't stop him!"
Me: "That's right, you see, I want to share with you what I have learned about Jesus..."
Lady, "Oh shut up Crawford. If you don't leave right now I'm going to stab you with this broom. I'm serious, get out and don't you or your companion or any new companions ever come knocking again!"
When we left I looked at my companion. He apologized and said he could have warned me, but he had hoped having someone new to yell at might be an excuse to try to talk to her again. Besides if he warned me away from everyone that didn't want us to come back we might as well not go out. New street, new house.
Me: "Good evening sir, I have a message from God about the purpose of life and what comes after..."
Guy: "Yeah, yeah, yeah, you want that Book of Mormon back? Let's see, I've got it right here..."
Me: "Oh, no sir! I mean that was meant to be your copy! That book has made such as difference in my life I am happy to give out copies for free. Let me tell you about a prophet in there named..."
Guy: "Here it is. Look, I don't want a free book. I already read it, and I read about your prophet in there."
Me: "Oh, what did you think about the story of Brigham Young riding the white stallion?"
Guy: "Oh yeah yeah, one of my favorite parts. Look, I'm just not into these kinds of things. If you don't want the book back then you'll need to move on."
Finally I was ready to ask the question that Elder Cunningham was waiting for me to ask,
"Elder, how many of the people in this town have you already talked to?"
"Elder Crawford, every single one. At first we bounced around randomly, but then we made a system, and we have knocked on every single house. Come up the hill here. See that house down there? The guys got a dog that slobbered all over me. That house over there? Super nice guy, gives us ice cream when we come, but says he'll die before spends Sunday in a church. Over there.. That's Lourdes, and she has a testimony of the Book of Mormon but she will never give up cigarettes. That house clear out by the woods over there? Nice family until the father came home. He chased us away with a Bowie knife and slashed a gash in Elder Adams' backpack as we ran away. The bar over there is run by a guy who said he would join our church if it weren't for the story about Joseph Smith, but I think he knows that it wouldn't be proper for him to own a bar if he joined. We've tried festivals, activities, booths, contests, and immense amounts of service. We have three families that are members of the church, but our job isn't to spent all day with them. I saw the look on your face when I told you we had no investigators, but Elder Crawford I don't know what else I could do. I am ready to work as long as the Lord wants me to, until I finish my mission or I am transferred to a new city."
Ok, so not a slacker. But the poor guy has worked hard. He admitted secretly that he wouldn't mind if he was transferred next month, and secretly I didn't blame him. Now I remember the assistants in the main office snickering when I told them I was being sent to Maravilha. WELL! I'll show them. Elder Cunningham showed me the map, and we divided it up into what sections we would knock each day. For a month we knocked the whole south and west of Maravilha. On the day of transfers, nothing.
The next month we knocked all the north, from the rich mansions of the town to the back alley huts (yes, that dog slobbers). We put articles in the newspapers, taught English classes, held activities and even a church sponsored dance (where we didn't dance). Made pictures and handouts and cards. We knocked the East side and the little huts outside of town. One day we woke up and hiked as fast as we could down a road. We knocked every house we could find, and finally found a tiny village and talked to everyone there. On the day of transfers, Elder Cunningham was sent to Florianopolis. He shook my hand. We knew we had worked hard for two months and done the best we could. We had served the Lord as He had asked.
My new companion was Elder Harris. He asked,
"Elder, how many people are ready in Maravilha to be baptized this month?"
"None Elder Harris."
"Oh.... um.... well how many are we teaching?"
"None Elder Harris, and before you ask there aren't any new contacts scheduled for us to meet either."
"Oh. Well, I can see you guys have been enjoying your vacation here, but now it's time to work."
I smiled. It was funny the second time through. He said we should go knock doors. I knew just the one.
Elder Harris: "Good morning ma'am, we're going around today..."
Lady: "Oooo - Crawford, What did I say to you last time you came?"
Me: "You said not to come back, and I have tried to honor that but my new companion Elder Harris has something I think you'll want to hear."
Elder Harris: "That's right, see I decided to become a missionary because..."
She then slammed the door and turned the radio on as loud as it could go.
Me: "Sorry Elder Harris, I guess I figured it was a nice excuse to try her again."
To make a rather long and repetitive story short it didn't take Elder Harris long to understand that I had literally knocked on every door. I showed him the map and how we had scheduled every street for specific days. He realized that with the schedule we could try knocking the doors at a different time of day. The doors we knocked in the morning we would do at night and the doors we did at night we would try in the morning.
Two months later I have knocked every door in Maravilha twice: once in the morning, and once in the evening. I met a lot of nice people, a lot of interesting people, and even some rude ones. After 4 months I felt good - I knew I had served in a tough area and done what the Lord asked. The day of transfers came.
The day of transfers left.
To be funny Elder Harris said,
"Elder Crawford, I'm Elder Harris, how many people are ready in Maravilha to be baptized this month?"
"C'mon, let's get to work."
It wasn't funny the third time.
I have decided I can handle any trial in the world. For a day. The temptations and problems that really get me are the ones that are hard day after day with no end in sight. I think everyone is meant to face this in their life. God doesn't want someone in His kingdom that can't handle a long trial. That's why the Savior said, "But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved." (Matthew 24:13)
We knocked door after door. We started to remember what houses had no one home and stake them out. We sang hymns until it ruined Elder Harris' voice. We worked with kids, volunteered at schools, volunteered at the fire department, and made friends with the few bar owners we didn't know. We visited the three member families regularly and got to know their friends. We found a member who was inactive and hiding, before she moved away. We headed up intensive "stop smoking" programs, "how to be a parent" programs (with help from the mission couple) and showed church movies. Most everyone was very nice, but no one wanted to come to church.
After the fourth month with Elder Harris I was exhausted. Six months in Maravilha, and there was only so much we could do. Transfers came. Transfers left.
At this point Elder Harris and I had to make a tough decision. We had been obedient in every way we knew how, and now we had less than we started with. We couldn't pretend we didn't remember the people we had met 4 times before. Perhaps it was time to stay home and sleep and wait until the Mission President remembered that we were here.
Harris: "What do we do? Unless you've got an idea all I can think of is to go knock doors"
Me: "What is the point? Were we called to get exercise? Maybe it would be most good to stay home and read scriptures! I just don't know if I can work knowing I won't find success."
Harris: "No, we were called to preach. It doesn't matter if anyone listens. We serve the Lord, not ourselves. We have to believe we will be successful, and then be ok even if we aren't."
Me: "Elder, you're right, I can feel it, there is work to be done here. Let's have faith and pray that the Lord will do a miracle!"
Waiting for a miracle is extremely hard, but the Lord's promise is very clear: he said he would help us "and thou shalt know that I am the Lord: for they shall not be ashamed that wait for me" (Isaiah 49:23). Elder Harris and I would show the Lord that we were willing to wait until his appointed time.
So for month seven Elder Harris and I mapped out the city and began to knock doors. We prayed that for our faith and our work the Lord would bless us to find someone who was ready to accept the gospel. We felt inside that there were people in Maravilha who wanted to follow Christ. We even joked about how it's always the last house. The third time through the city it was faster, and finally we came to the last street. Knocked every door until the last door. Elder Harris and I stood outside the door a little afraid to knock since all our hopes rested on this door.
A woman came to the door, and told us that she would love to talk about America, but if we wanted to talk about religion we were not welcome inside.
After an ice cream Elder Harris and I climbed the big hill overlooking Maravilha. We debated whether to call down fire from heaven, but eventually decided that wasn't funny. As Elder Harris overlooked the city he said,
"Well Elder Crawford, what now?"
"I don't know. I really felt like if we kept going there would be some good we could do."
"Maybe the good we did was to ourselves. To look at the city it's pretty impressive that we've knocked every door - me twice, you three times. Remember that guy in the yellow house? Tried to pretend he didn't speak Portuguese?"
I met my new companion Elder Cunningham and he looked like a serious missionary. I asked him,"Elder, how many people are ready in Maravilha to be baptized this month?"
"None Elder Crawford."
"Oh.... um.... well how many are we teaching?"
"None Elder Crawford, and before you ask there aren't any new contacts scheduled for us to meet either."
"Oh"
Well obviously Elder Cunningham is a slacker, but that's what I'm here for. We'll get the work moving. Since we had nothing to start with, I decided we should go knock on some doors. My companion was rolling his eyes and smirking, but I can handle a slacker companion. We knocked on the first door, the guy that answered said,
Guy: "Hey Elder Cunningham, looks like you've got a new companion, eh? This another American?"
Me: "Yes, I'm Elder Crawford, I take it you've spoken to missionaries before? What do you think of our message?"
Guy: "Eh. This one's a little fireball isn't he? Talk to you later."
All right. That one was a little strange, but sometimes you run into people who are already familiar with missionary work. That's all right, there are 30,000 other people in this city to try. We went a little further.
Me: "Hello Ma'am, I'm Elder Crawford and we're here from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints..."
Lady: "Oooo Cunningham, what did I tell your companion?"
Cunningham: "You said we weren't to come back ever, but I have a new companion, and I told him to avoid you, but he wanted so desperately to talk to you I couldn't stop him!"
Me: "That's right, you see, I want to share with you what I have learned about Jesus..."
Lady, "Oh shut up Crawford. If you don't leave right now I'm going to stab you with this broom. I'm serious, get out and don't you or your companion or any new companions ever come knocking again!"
When we left I looked at my companion. He apologized and said he could have warned me, but he had hoped having someone new to yell at might be an excuse to try to talk to her again. Besides if he warned me away from everyone that didn't want us to come back we might as well not go out. New street, new house.
Me: "Good evening sir, I have a message from God about the purpose of life and what comes after..."
Guy: "Yeah, yeah, yeah, you want that Book of Mormon back? Let's see, I've got it right here..."
Me: "Oh, no sir! I mean that was meant to be your copy! That book has made such as difference in my life I am happy to give out copies for free. Let me tell you about a prophet in there named..."
Guy: "Here it is. Look, I don't want a free book. I already read it, and I read about your prophet in there."
Me: "Oh, what did you think about the story of Brigham Young riding the white stallion?"
Guy: "Oh yeah yeah, one of my favorite parts. Look, I'm just not into these kinds of things. If you don't want the book back then you'll need to move on."
Finally I was ready to ask the question that Elder Cunningham was waiting for me to ask,
"Elder, how many of the people in this town have you already talked to?"
"Elder Crawford, every single one. At first we bounced around randomly, but then we made a system, and we have knocked on every single house. Come up the hill here. See that house down there? The guys got a dog that slobbered all over me. That house over there? Super nice guy, gives us ice cream when we come, but says he'll die before spends Sunday in a church. Over there.. That's Lourdes, and she has a testimony of the Book of Mormon but she will never give up cigarettes. That house clear out by the woods over there? Nice family until the father came home. He chased us away with a Bowie knife and slashed a gash in Elder Adams' backpack as we ran away. The bar over there is run by a guy who said he would join our church if it weren't for the story about Joseph Smith, but I think he knows that it wouldn't be proper for him to own a bar if he joined. We've tried festivals, activities, booths, contests, and immense amounts of service. We have three families that are members of the church, but our job isn't to spent all day with them. I saw the look on your face when I told you we had no investigators, but Elder Crawford I don't know what else I could do. I am ready to work as long as the Lord wants me to, until I finish my mission or I am transferred to a new city."
Ok, so not a slacker. But the poor guy has worked hard. He admitted secretly that he wouldn't mind if he was transferred next month, and secretly I didn't blame him. Now I remember the assistants in the main office snickering when I told them I was being sent to Maravilha. WELL! I'll show them. Elder Cunningham showed me the map, and we divided it up into what sections we would knock each day. For a month we knocked the whole south and west of Maravilha. On the day of transfers, nothing.
The next month we knocked all the north, from the rich mansions of the town to the back alley huts (yes, that dog slobbers). We put articles in the newspapers, taught English classes, held activities and even a church sponsored dance (where we didn't dance). Made pictures and handouts and cards. We knocked the East side and the little huts outside of town. One day we woke up and hiked as fast as we could down a road. We knocked every house we could find, and finally found a tiny village and talked to everyone there. On the day of transfers, Elder Cunningham was sent to Florianopolis. He shook my hand. We knew we had worked hard for two months and done the best we could. We had served the Lord as He had asked.
My new companion was Elder Harris. He asked,
"Elder, how many people are ready in Maravilha to be baptized this month?"
"None Elder Harris."
"Oh.... um.... well how many are we teaching?"
"None Elder Harris, and before you ask there aren't any new contacts scheduled for us to meet either."
"Oh. Well, I can see you guys have been enjoying your vacation here, but now it's time to work."
I smiled. It was funny the second time through. He said we should go knock doors. I knew just the one.
Elder Harris: "Good morning ma'am, we're going around today..."
Lady: "Oooo - Crawford, What did I say to you last time you came?"
Me: "You said not to come back, and I have tried to honor that but my new companion Elder Harris has something I think you'll want to hear."
Elder Harris: "That's right, see I decided to become a missionary because..."
She then slammed the door and turned the radio on as loud as it could go.
Me: "Sorry Elder Harris, I guess I figured it was a nice excuse to try her again."
To make a rather long and repetitive story short it didn't take Elder Harris long to understand that I had literally knocked on every door. I showed him the map and how we had scheduled every street for specific days. He realized that with the schedule we could try knocking the doors at a different time of day. The doors we knocked in the morning we would do at night and the doors we did at night we would try in the morning.
Two months later I have knocked every door in Maravilha twice: once in the morning, and once in the evening. I met a lot of nice people, a lot of interesting people, and even some rude ones. After 4 months I felt good - I knew I had served in a tough area and done what the Lord asked. The day of transfers came.
The day of transfers left.
To be funny Elder Harris said,
"Elder Crawford, I'm Elder Harris, how many people are ready in Maravilha to be baptized this month?"
"C'mon, let's get to work."
It wasn't funny the third time.
I have decided I can handle any trial in the world. For a day. The temptations and problems that really get me are the ones that are hard day after day with no end in sight. I think everyone is meant to face this in their life. God doesn't want someone in His kingdom that can't handle a long trial. That's why the Savior said, "But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved." (Matthew 24:13)
We knocked door after door. We started to remember what houses had no one home and stake them out. We sang hymns until it ruined Elder Harris' voice. We worked with kids, volunteered at schools, volunteered at the fire department, and made friends with the few bar owners we didn't know. We visited the three member families regularly and got to know their friends. We found a member who was inactive and hiding, before she moved away. We headed up intensive "stop smoking" programs, "how to be a parent" programs (with help from the mission couple) and showed church movies. Most everyone was very nice, but no one wanted to come to church.
After the fourth month with Elder Harris I was exhausted. Six months in Maravilha, and there was only so much we could do. Transfers came. Transfers left.
At this point Elder Harris and I had to make a tough decision. We had been obedient in every way we knew how, and now we had less than we started with. We couldn't pretend we didn't remember the people we had met 4 times before. Perhaps it was time to stay home and sleep and wait until the Mission President remembered that we were here.
Harris: "What do we do? Unless you've got an idea all I can think of is to go knock doors"
Me: "What is the point? Were we called to get exercise? Maybe it would be most good to stay home and read scriptures! I just don't know if I can work knowing I won't find success."
Harris: "No, we were called to preach. It doesn't matter if anyone listens. We serve the Lord, not ourselves. We have to believe we will be successful, and then be ok even if we aren't."
Me: "Elder, you're right, I can feel it, there is work to be done here. Let's have faith and pray that the Lord will do a miracle!"
Waiting for a miracle is extremely hard, but the Lord's promise is very clear: he said he would help us "and thou shalt know that I am the Lord: for they shall not be ashamed that wait for me" (Isaiah 49:23). Elder Harris and I would show the Lord that we were willing to wait until his appointed time.
So for month seven Elder Harris and I mapped out the city and began to knock doors. We prayed that for our faith and our work the Lord would bless us to find someone who was ready to accept the gospel. We felt inside that there were people in Maravilha who wanted to follow Christ. We even joked about how it's always the last house. The third time through the city it was faster, and finally we came to the last street. Knocked every door until the last door. Elder Harris and I stood outside the door a little afraid to knock since all our hopes rested on this door.
A woman came to the door, and told us that she would love to talk about America, but if we wanted to talk about religion we were not welcome inside.
After an ice cream Elder Harris and I climbed the big hill overlooking Maravilha. We debated whether to call down fire from heaven, but eventually decided that wasn't funny. As Elder Harris overlooked the city he said,
"Well Elder Crawford, what now?"
"I don't know. I really felt like if we kept going there would be some good we could do."
"Maybe the good we did was to ourselves. To look at the city it's pretty impressive that we've knocked every door - me twice, you three times. Remember that guy in the yellow house? Tried to pretend he didn't speak Portuguese?"
We laughed about some of our adventures, and then tried to encourage each other to get up and try again. They say winners never quit, and quitters never win, but gosh darn it to never win and never quit just seems stupid! We tried one last time, we knocked the last street, and we knocked the last house. All those stupid stories of missionaries that found the golden investigator after some long trial were lies. There was nothing left to believe in, nothing to hope for.
When Job lost everything, and I mean everything, his friends could not see any reason for Job to continue. It made sense for him to "curse God, and die" (Job 2:9). Job had a bigger vision. His reaction was "For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth: And though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God:" (Job 19:25-26). We decided that when we met God we wanted to tell him we didn't give up in Maravilha.
As we stood up to pick a new street Elder Harris said,
"Oh, hey, Bro. Crawford, see that little shack there? How come we've never gone there?"
"Oh, that's a guy that chased the last pair of Elders out with a knife. Apparently he cut open one of the missionary's backpack."
"Cool! Let's go there!"
We approached the shack with our backpack straps tightened in case we needed to run. The woman of the house came out before we got to the door, and with tears streaming down her eyes she said, "You came. I knew you would come."
The woman had gone to police to talk about her husband. She feared for her and her four daughters. Her husband was now going to be in prison for a long time. This family felt like they had been torn apart, and they were filled with hopelessness and despair. The mother asked, "Can you teach us the way the other Elders did? They brought us hope when there was none."
The spirit told us to sing. After three hymns the mother with her four daughters were smiling. We said,
"We would like to share a message from the Book of Mormon, have you heard of that book?"
"Oh yes! My husband burnt our copy, but the Elders secretly gave us another, and we have it hidden"
"Is it the story of Ammon? I love that one!"
"Or the story of Christ? 3 Nephi is good."
"I think Alma 32 is good."
Elder Harris and I were stunned. They hadn't just hidden a Book of Mormon, they had devoured it. The previous missionaries had left a few recommended passages, and they had gone well beyond. We decided to risk a rather bold question:
"Would you be willing to prepare yourselves for baptism into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?"
"Oh, of course! We expected you to ask!"
When the 7 year old daughter was told she needed to be 8 before she could be baptized there was a fight. Finally we had to run home to avoid being late. The feelings when we got home are hard to describe, but perhaps if you've ever been pushed to your limit, pushed past that limit, and still sought the Lord you understand. The mother and two oldest daughters were baptized and the ward members were thrilled to have a new family. I learned the Lord will bless me, usually not in the way I expect, but if I serve without expectations the Lord will always bless me after I have endured the trial by fire.
"Is it the story of Ammon? I love that one!"
"Or the story of Christ? 3 Nephi is good."
"I think Alma 32 is good."
Elder Harris and I were stunned. They hadn't just hidden a Book of Mormon, they had devoured it. The previous missionaries had left a few recommended passages, and they had gone well beyond. We decided to risk a rather bold question:
"Would you be willing to prepare yourselves for baptism into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?"
"Oh, of course! We expected you to ask!"
When the 7 year old daughter was told she needed to be 8 before she could be baptized there was a fight. Finally we had to run home to avoid being late. The feelings when we got home are hard to describe, but perhaps if you've ever been pushed to your limit, pushed past that limit, and still sought the Lord you understand. The mother and two oldest daughters were baptized and the ward members were thrilled to have a new family. I learned the Lord will bless me, usually not in the way I expect, but if I serve without expectations the Lord will always bless me after I have endured the trial by fire.
5/25/11
Locked in the Closet
There is little that a sibling enjoys more than teasing another sibling. So here is another story about my sister Julie. One day when the house was empty and quiet and my sister Julie began to examine the broken closet door. The closet doorknob was perfectly fine on the hall side, but on the closet side it was broken off. There were still some protruding knobs and dowels, but nothing to hold on to. Like any other teenager she wondered what would happen if someone were inside the closet. To find out she stepped inside the closet and pulled the door closed.
That may surprise you, but I have seen people (and quite often teenagers) do this same thing in many ways. I've heard things like "Let's just try a cigarette to see what makes them so special" or "I just want to see what they are blocking on the Internet". Then afterwards they want to "recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will" (2 Timothy 2:26) That's when they are in the closet and hear the click and think the same thing my sister thought, "Oh. That was stupid."
Yes, stupid. That is the right word. After you are in a bad situation sometimes it is too late to undo the first choice. My sister was in a closet barely big enough for her to turn around in. And that's when she remembered how claustrophobic she is. Very very claustrophobic...
I was once in a seminary class and a young woman had said, "I just don't think I believe it anymore. The whole story about Christ, the existence of God, prophets like Joseph Smith... when I was a kid I went along with it because I had to, but now I don't think I buy it."
I was anxious to hear the teacher's response, thinking of all the ways to convince her or fix the problem.
The teacher said, "Good!"
The teacher continued, "I hear you saying that you are no longer following Christ because someone told you to. You are ready to decide what you want for yourself. Now you will start to understand what it means to be guided by the spirit. It's ok to have doubts and it's ok to wonder. Just promise me one thing...
While you are searching for the truth, Don't do anything stupid! Don't go when you know your friends will be drinking. Don't let him talk you into immoral acts. Don't defy your parents just to show them you are an adult. If you will be patient then the Lord will bring you light with understanding, and you will know what is true."
When my mother came home from shopping she found the closet door blown off it's hinges and embedded into the wall on the other side of the hall. There was another hole in the closet where Julie had kicked out. She had freed herself from the prison, but it was not without cost. When it comes to spiritual closets the cost is intense, and it has been paid by Christ. The Savior tells us to repent lest "your sufferings be sore—how sore you know not, how exquisite you know not, yea, how hard to bear you know not. For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent" (D&C 19:15-16).
Getting locked in a closet isn't really a big deal, but Julie's experience has made me think about my tendencies to sin. As long as I remember how her curiosity led her to be trapped I have more strength to avoid addictions and destructive habits. When I doubt the promises from the Lord I will be patient without doing anything stupid.
That may surprise you, but I have seen people (and quite often teenagers) do this same thing in many ways. I've heard things like "Let's just try a cigarette to see what makes them so special" or "I just want to see what they are blocking on the Internet". Then afterwards they want to "recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will" (2 Timothy 2:26) That's when they are in the closet and hear the click and think the same thing my sister thought, "Oh. That was stupid."
Yes, stupid. That is the right word. After you are in a bad situation sometimes it is too late to undo the first choice. My sister was in a closet barely big enough for her to turn around in. And that's when she remembered how claustrophobic she is. Very very claustrophobic...
I was once in a seminary class and a young woman had said, "I just don't think I believe it anymore. The whole story about Christ, the existence of God, prophets like Joseph Smith... when I was a kid I went along with it because I had to, but now I don't think I buy it."
I was anxious to hear the teacher's response, thinking of all the ways to convince her or fix the problem.
The teacher said, "Good!"
The teacher continued, "I hear you saying that you are no longer following Christ because someone told you to. You are ready to decide what you want for yourself. Now you will start to understand what it means to be guided by the spirit. It's ok to have doubts and it's ok to wonder. Just promise me one thing...
While you are searching for the truth, Don't do anything stupid! Don't go when you know your friends will be drinking. Don't let him talk you into immoral acts. Don't defy your parents just to show them you are an adult. If you will be patient then the Lord will bring you light with understanding, and you will know what is true."
When my mother came home from shopping she found the closet door blown off it's hinges and embedded into the wall on the other side of the hall. There was another hole in the closet where Julie had kicked out. She had freed herself from the prison, but it was not without cost. When it comes to spiritual closets the cost is intense, and it has been paid by Christ. The Savior tells us to repent lest "your sufferings be sore—how sore you know not, how exquisite you know not, yea, how hard to bear you know not. For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent" (D&C 19:15-16).
Getting locked in a closet isn't really a big deal, but Julie's experience has made me think about my tendencies to sin. As long as I remember how her curiosity led her to be trapped I have more strength to avoid addictions and destructive habits. When I doubt the promises from the Lord I will be patient without doing anything stupid.
Senior Prom
Those who know me find this hard to believe, but I was somewhat dorky in high school. In fact the only time I really asked girls out was when there was a major dance, so Senior Prom was a big deal. It was the last dance of high school, and I really wanted to ask Lindsey Fife. Lindsey was high quality, attractive, and confident. The fact that she kept the church standards made her more attractive. If that surprises you then this story will help you understand why.
The date went well, and I was in a group with three other guys, Doug, John, and Jeff. We dropped our dates off to get ready for the dance, and when I picked Lindsey back up she was in a beautiful dress. I couldn't help but notice the dress had an appropriate back and sleeves. Honestly that is so much easier on us guys. Part of the reason is that I don't have to worry about where to put my hand when dancing. The other reason is it really affects us guys, and I don't think girls understand how it messes with our heads. I appreciated that I wouldn't need to fight any internal battles to go to a dance with Lindsey.
We met up with the other three couples and took pictures. I instantly noticed the other three girls had straps on, no sleeves. One had a short dress. Could it be my date was the only one who thought that covering her skin could be a relief to the guy? Don't girls realize that being modest is actually attractive?
Doug discreetly said to me, "Gee, have you noticed your date is the only one who had a modest dress?"
Yeah, I noticed. Doug was LDS, so we understood each other, and we knew why we would rather have a date that was modest. There was no way in the world I would ever say it to these young women.
I complimented Lindsey on the dress, and eventually she confessed that her mother had made it. I realized she had probably looked around, but hadn't been able to find a modest dress. No doubt the other girls had done the same and eventually bought what dress they could find. Lindsey seemed reluctant to admit that her dress was not store bought, but what I heard was that she went the extra mile to avoid my feeling uncomfortable.
After the dance Jeff told me he noticed that I had the only modest date. Guys really do notice! Jeff wasn't LDS, but his date was. The way he said it I think he was impressed with my date. There was no way in all of creation we would say it to the girls, but we mentioned it to each other. There wasn't a need to say more than a sentence or two: we all knew exactly what we were thinking and why.
When the pictures came out I took each guy his packet of photos. John looked at the photo, and there were all four girls with the guys behind. He said, "You know, Scott, your date was the only one with sleeves."
Yeah, I know. Guys do notice! Neither John nor his date were LDS, but this is something that goes beyond standards imposed by a church. A girl who is modest is attractive. The only reason young women don't understand this is because they don't understand how guys really work.
The way John said it made me feel proud. I could be confident to take Lindsey anywhere. If I needed to take her to my house and meet my parents... If I needed to take her to church and introduce her to the bishop... if for some reason we were alone and stranded somewhere... if I needed to stand with her before God. "For in this we groan, earnestly desiring to be clothed upon with our house which is from heaven: If so be that being clothed we shall not be found naked... Therefore we are always confident," (2 Corinthians 5:2-6)
I don't need to worry about how I would feel or whether I would need to fight my own self because Lindsey understood my standards and supported them in a beautiful way. To be in the presence of the Savior with a date who was not modest would be a huge embarrassment. The Lord said, "let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God" (D&C 121:45). Lindsey believed that and her confidence made her very attractive. I still have that photo, and I am always proud to see the girl that wasn't embarrassed to do what what right.
The date went well, and I was in a group with three other guys, Doug, John, and Jeff. We dropped our dates off to get ready for the dance, and when I picked Lindsey back up she was in a beautiful dress. I couldn't help but notice the dress had an appropriate back and sleeves. Honestly that is so much easier on us guys. Part of the reason is that I don't have to worry about where to put my hand when dancing. The other reason is it really affects us guys, and I don't think girls understand how it messes with our heads. I appreciated that I wouldn't need to fight any internal battles to go to a dance with Lindsey.
We met up with the other three couples and took pictures. I instantly noticed the other three girls had straps on, no sleeves. One had a short dress. Could it be my date was the only one who thought that covering her skin could be a relief to the guy? Don't girls realize that being modest is actually attractive?
Doug discreetly said to me, "Gee, have you noticed your date is the only one who had a modest dress?"
Yeah, I noticed. Doug was LDS, so we understood each other, and we knew why we would rather have a date that was modest. There was no way in the world I would ever say it to these young women.
I complimented Lindsey on the dress, and eventually she confessed that her mother had made it. I realized she had probably looked around, but hadn't been able to find a modest dress. No doubt the other girls had done the same and eventually bought what dress they could find. Lindsey seemed reluctant to admit that her dress was not store bought, but what I heard was that she went the extra mile to avoid my feeling uncomfortable.
After the dance Jeff told me he noticed that I had the only modest date. Guys really do notice! Jeff wasn't LDS, but his date was. The way he said it I think he was impressed with my date. There was no way in all of creation we would say it to the girls, but we mentioned it to each other. There wasn't a need to say more than a sentence or two: we all knew exactly what we were thinking and why.
When the pictures came out I took each guy his packet of photos. John looked at the photo, and there were all four girls with the guys behind. He said, "You know, Scott, your date was the only one with sleeves."
Yeah, I know. Guys do notice! Neither John nor his date were LDS, but this is something that goes beyond standards imposed by a church. A girl who is modest is attractive. The only reason young women don't understand this is because they don't understand how guys really work.
The way John said it made me feel proud. I could be confident to take Lindsey anywhere. If I needed to take her to my house and meet my parents... If I needed to take her to church and introduce her to the bishop... if for some reason we were alone and stranded somewhere... if I needed to stand with her before God. "For in this we groan, earnestly desiring to be clothed upon with our house which is from heaven: If so be that being clothed we shall not be found naked... Therefore we are always confident," (2 Corinthians 5:2-6)
I don't need to worry about how I would feel or whether I would need to fight my own self because Lindsey understood my standards and supported them in a beautiful way. To be in the presence of the Savior with a date who was not modest would be a huge embarrassment. The Lord said, "let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God" (D&C 121:45). Lindsey believed that and her confidence made her very attractive. I still have that photo, and I am always proud to see the girl that wasn't embarrassed to do what what right.
5/24/11
The Mustang Convertible
Every child always believes their life is the most unfair, but when my sister Julie was going on a date and wanted a nice car, my father let her take the Mustang convertible. Candy apple red, leather seats, it was a beautiful car. Later I will tell you what kinds of cars I get when I need to borrow a car for a date. My father sells cars for a living, so there were lots of options, but my sister is a girl, and so of course life is terribly unfair.
My room is in the basement located below my sister's room, so when Julie came back from her date I could hear her talking to my mother through the heating vent: "Yes! And it was awesome, you see we were driving and he's like..." and then later "So we had the top down and we talked about our favorite constellations..." OH for crying out loud. Life is so unfair. My sister has all the good fortune, and I am lucky to be allowed to listen to her talk about how wonderful things are. SIGH.... is there any poetic justice in the world?
That poetic justice came around 1:00 in the morning. Through the heating vent I heard a cry of alarm. From the tiny basement window I can hear the pouring pounding rainstorm. Since I am a floor below Julie I can hear her footsteps pound from
my-sisters-room-down-hall-front-room-out-door SLAM.
As I listen to the pouring rain I wonder why the excitement.
SLAM front-room-down-hall-parents-room.
Whisper whisper
Groan
Whisper whisper
Groan mumble
Whisper plea
WHAT! You left the top down!? IT'S RAINING!!!!
PARENTS-ROOM-DOWN-HALL-FRONT-ROOM SLAM!
The next part of the story I am not particularly proud of, but read to the end and you will see the lesson I learned. As I laid in bed realizing what was happening I felt extremely happy. Elation, pride, joy.... my sister was finally getting what she deserved! That trick of "Oh, Daddy, please" to get anything she wanted was dead now! My parents would see that I was the child they should be loving with lavish gifts.
Julie came back to her room, and through sobs she explained to my father that she couldn't figure out how to get the top back up, so she figured it wouldn't matter if she left it down until the morning. My father was not very patient at one in the morning, but he was wise. He explained that there would be a full discussion in the morning when he was rested and more calm. My sister cried and I twirled while dancing on my bed with my ear against the heating vent.
Then I made the big mistake. I was so happy I knelt down and thanked Heavenly Father for the wonderful bit of justice he had allowed to happen.
I often wonder how many stories our guardian angels know but don't tell us. I am imaging my guardian angel saying, "You know, this kid is 16, he's full of himself and thinks his life is unfair... I'll let slide. Then he's thrilled about his sister's misfortune, but I'll ignore that. He's throwing a victory dance when his sister is crying? I will restrain myself because I know he's not ready. Wait - are you telling me he's praying to thank Heavenly Father that his sister is going through a trial? This is too much!"
The response from the spirit was simple: "Do you really want to be treated the way you deserve?"
"I say unto you that if ye should serve him who has created you from the beginning, and is preserving you from day to day, by lending you breath, that ye may live and move and do according to your own will, and even supporting you from one moment to another—I say, if ye should serve him with all your whole souls yet ye would be unprofitable servants." (Mosiah 2:21). In other words, if I was perfect I would only be repaying back to God what He already gave me. The spirit began to remind me of all the times I wasn't perfect. That won't make it into the story, but when I thought of "For of him unto whom much is given much is required" (D&C 82:3) I realized even little sins were big considering how much I had been blessed. And not all of my sins have been little sins.
My room is in the basement located below my sister's room, so when Julie came back from her date I could hear her talking to my mother through the heating vent: "Yes! And it was awesome, you see we were driving and he's like..." and then later "So we had the top down and we talked about our favorite constellations..." OH for crying out loud. Life is so unfair. My sister has all the good fortune, and I am lucky to be allowed to listen to her talk about how wonderful things are. SIGH.... is there any poetic justice in the world?
That poetic justice came around 1:00 in the morning. Through the heating vent I heard a cry of alarm. From the tiny basement window I can hear the pouring pounding rainstorm. Since I am a floor below Julie I can hear her footsteps pound from
my-sisters-room-down-hall-front-room-out-door SLAM.
As I listen to the pouring rain I wonder why the excitement.
SLAM front-room-down-hall-parents-room.
Whisper whisper
Groan
Whisper whisper
Groan mumble
Whisper plea
WHAT! You left the top down!? IT'S RAINING!!!!
PARENTS-ROOM-DOWN-HALL-FRONT-ROOM SLAM!
The next part of the story I am not particularly proud of, but read to the end and you will see the lesson I learned. As I laid in bed realizing what was happening I felt extremely happy. Elation, pride, joy.... my sister was finally getting what she deserved! That trick of "Oh, Daddy, please" to get anything she wanted was dead now! My parents would see that I was the child they should be loving with lavish gifts.
Julie came back to her room, and through sobs she explained to my father that she couldn't figure out how to get the top back up, so she figured it wouldn't matter if she left it down until the morning. My father was not very patient at one in the morning, but he was wise. He explained that there would be a full discussion in the morning when he was rested and more calm. My sister cried and I twirled while dancing on my bed with my ear against the heating vent.
Then I made the big mistake. I was so happy I knelt down and thanked Heavenly Father for the wonderful bit of justice he had allowed to happen.
I often wonder how many stories our guardian angels know but don't tell us. I am imaging my guardian angel saying, "You know, this kid is 16, he's full of himself and thinks his life is unfair... I'll let slide. Then he's thrilled about his sister's misfortune, but I'll ignore that. He's throwing a victory dance when his sister is crying? I will restrain myself because I know he's not ready. Wait - are you telling me he's praying to thank Heavenly Father that his sister is going through a trial? This is too much!"
The response from the spirit was simple: "Do you really want to be treated the way you deserve?"
"I say unto you that if ye should serve him who has created you from the beginning, and is preserving you from day to day, by lending you breath, that ye may live and move and do according to your own will, and even supporting you from one moment to another—I say, if ye should serve him with all your whole souls yet ye would be unprofitable servants." (Mosiah 2:21). In other words, if I was perfect I would only be repaying back to God what He already gave me. The spirit began to remind me of all the times I wasn't perfect. That won't make it into the story, but when I thought of "For of him unto whom much is given much is required" (D&C 82:3) I realized even little sins were big considering how much I had been blessed. And not all of my sins have been little sins.
If I got what I deserved I would have no hope, for "no unclean thing can dwell with God; wherefore, ye must be cast off forever." (1 Nephi 10:21) I should be eternally grateful that God has not cast me off like I deserve, but instead forgiven a debt of "ten thousand talents" (Matthew 18:24). Then when my sister was cast into sadness I rejoiced? The Lord could say "I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?" (Mattew 18:32-33). I was on the edge of asking Heavenly Father to send me trials much worse than my sister.
Julie's sobs still echoed through the heating vent, but my heart began to break. She was always more careful with vehicles than I was, and she had more experience driving - it was wrong for me to feel like she deserved less than me. I prayed for Julie, I prayed for my father, I prayed that the car would not suffer damage, I prayed that I would know how I could help. I thanked Heavenly Father for the incredible mercies that I had received, and I prayed that I might have more strength to follow his commandments. I felt like God was understanding, and that I would be blessed as long as I remembered the lesson I had learned.
5/23/11
A Harmless Button
As a teenager my sister Julie found an interesting button on a weird little box. I will try to describe the black plastic box. It fits in your palm, about the size of a big memory card (or small matchbox, depending on your age), but twice as thick, and on the thin top edge there were some grooves. Then at the end of those grooves was a little red button. It looked like you were supposed to slide along those grooves and hit the button down. The grooves along the side were so close that it was hard to get her finger in there to push the button, but even when she pushed the button nothing happened. The box felt empty, so it made sense that the button did nothing.
Julie was on the phone, absent minded, and toying with the box and it's harmless button. She pushed it a couple of times with her finger, and then ran all her fingers through the groove and over the button. The button went down each time, and the spring popped it back up. She ran the fingers on the other hand through the button. Each of the ten fingers on average pushed the button three times as she looked at the calendar and talked on the phone. She looked down at her hands and saw that they were covered in blood.
The little black box was a CD opener. Ever tried to wrestle that plastic off a new CD? My mother hates it, and she saw this black box at the store she bought it. The idea is that you put the CD in the grooves, and that pushes down the button. When the button is pushed down a tiny razor pops up, and the razor cuts the wrapping on your new CD. Apparently it also functions to cut your finger should you decide to push the button manually.
There are so many things in our life that look innocent. A harmless joke, a harmless TV show, but hidden deep inside is a razor that pops up and does a tiny cut on your soul so subtle that you probably don't even notice it. Think of a funny TV show you've seen lately. How was the father portrayed? Most shows are clever and witty, but the fathers are shown as incredibly stupid and worthless. What do we see in our nation? Fathers leaving the family, and the mothers are almost relieved to see them go. Could it be have been cut by something that seemed harmless? These types of problems plagued the Nephites of old, and Jacob told them the results was "many hearts died, pierced with deep wounds" (Jacob 2:35).
My sister's friend who was on the phone heard, "Oh my gosh! There's blood everywhere! MY HANDS! *click* dialtone". You can imagine what her reaction was. It is the reaction many of us feel when our loved suddenly find themselve hurt deeply.
Another easy example is the rampant disdain people show for others under the guise of "wit". Think of a funny TV show, were they funny because they thought of clever ways to insult and belittle each other? Sometimes it can be easy to make fun of other's flaws, but "why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?" (Matthew 7:3).
The attitude can be even more serious when brought to church. God is perfect, and he established a church with His doctrine. Then he lets all sorts of flawed humans try to run it (I think it's so that we can learn). Saul of Tarsus tried attacking church leaders. the Savior said, "Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou me? it is hard for thee to kick against the pricks" (Acts 26:14). When we try to poke fun of others, a tiny invisible blade pops up to slice an almost imperceptible cut into our own souls.
My sister ran in the bathroom and finally was able to diagnose the problem. Multiple slices along each finger - about 3 cuts times 10 fingers. And now that she was aware of it she could feel the paper cut like pain. And they bled! A few hours later (thanks to a stay at home mom who was there when she was needed) my sister had white padded balls on the end of all ten fingers. The phone had been answered, and a terrified friend was calmed down. Now came the part where everyone my sister met wanted to know what had happened. She was able to use this story to explain the importance of recognizing the danger in what might appear to be a harmless button.
Julie was on the phone, absent minded, and toying with the box and it's harmless button. She pushed it a couple of times with her finger, and then ran all her fingers through the groove and over the button. The button went down each time, and the spring popped it back up. She ran the fingers on the other hand through the button. Each of the ten fingers on average pushed the button three times as she looked at the calendar and talked on the phone. She looked down at her hands and saw that they were covered in blood.
The little black box was a CD opener. Ever tried to wrestle that plastic off a new CD? My mother hates it, and she saw this black box at the store she bought it. The idea is that you put the CD in the grooves, and that pushes down the button. When the button is pushed down a tiny razor pops up, and the razor cuts the wrapping on your new CD. Apparently it also functions to cut your finger should you decide to push the button manually.
There are so many things in our life that look innocent. A harmless joke, a harmless TV show, but hidden deep inside is a razor that pops up and does a tiny cut on your soul so subtle that you probably don't even notice it. Think of a funny TV show you've seen lately. How was the father portrayed? Most shows are clever and witty, but the fathers are shown as incredibly stupid and worthless. What do we see in our nation? Fathers leaving the family, and the mothers are almost relieved to see them go. Could it be have been cut by something that seemed harmless? These types of problems plagued the Nephites of old, and Jacob told them the results was "many hearts died, pierced with deep wounds" (Jacob 2:35).
My sister's friend who was on the phone heard, "Oh my gosh! There's blood everywhere! MY HANDS! *click* dialtone". You can imagine what her reaction was. It is the reaction many of us feel when our loved suddenly find themselve hurt deeply.
Another easy example is the rampant disdain people show for others under the guise of "wit". Think of a funny TV show, were they funny because they thought of clever ways to insult and belittle each other? Sometimes it can be easy to make fun of other's flaws, but "why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?" (Matthew 7:3).
The attitude can be even more serious when brought to church. God is perfect, and he established a church with His doctrine. Then he lets all sorts of flawed humans try to run it (I think it's so that we can learn). Saul of Tarsus tried attacking church leaders. the Savior said, "Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou me? it is hard for thee to kick against the pricks" (Acts 26:14). When we try to poke fun of others, a tiny invisible blade pops up to slice an almost imperceptible cut into our own souls.
My sister ran in the bathroom and finally was able to diagnose the problem. Multiple slices along each finger - about 3 cuts times 10 fingers. And now that she was aware of it she could feel the paper cut like pain. And they bled! A few hours later (thanks to a stay at home mom who was there when she was needed) my sister had white padded balls on the end of all ten fingers. The phone had been answered, and a terrified friend was calmed down. Now came the part where everyone my sister met wanted to know what had happened. She was able to use this story to explain the importance of recognizing the danger in what might appear to be a harmless button.
5/21/11
She Really Said That
There are certain things that happen to other people that we pray will never happen to us. This time it did happen - to my mother. You must know my mom is the sweetest kindest person you could meet. She always thinks about the other person and puts others needs ahead of her own. She is the type of person that Solomon meant when he said, "Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies." (Proverbs 31:10). But I don't care how Christlike you are, there are bound to be times you mess up.
For my mother that time was in church of all places. The speaker chosen for that week was a lady neighbor that my mother knew, but not extremely well. Apparently she was a good speaker, but there was something about her dress that was a little unusual. My mother turned to my father and said, "She really wore that?" The man in front of my mom turned around and looked at her. Turns out the speaker's family was sitting in front of her, and the man was the speaker's husband.
That instant is seared in my mother's memory. It is one of the few things she truly regrets. Another Proverb: "The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly." (Proverbs 18:8). To this day she won't tell who the speaker was, or why there was something wrong with her dress. She says that awful experience taught her the proverb "Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles." (Proverbs 21:23). She learned never to criticize anyone for any reason.
If you know my mother you won't be surprised if I tell I cannot remember her ever saying something negative about another person. I believe this is what repentance truly means. I want to try to emulate that so that I can avoid the taste of foot for years to come. I am impressed that my mother's experience taught her something that resulted in a true lifelong improvement.
For my mother that time was in church of all places. The speaker chosen for that week was a lady neighbor that my mother knew, but not extremely well. Apparently she was a good speaker, but there was something about her dress that was a little unusual. My mother turned to my father and said, "She really wore that?" The man in front of my mom turned around and looked at her. Turns out the speaker's family was sitting in front of her, and the man was the speaker's husband.
That instant is seared in my mother's memory. It is one of the few things she truly regrets. Another Proverb: "The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly." (Proverbs 18:8). To this day she won't tell who the speaker was, or why there was something wrong with her dress. She says that awful experience taught her the proverb "Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles." (Proverbs 21:23). She learned never to criticize anyone for any reason.
If you know my mother you won't be surprised if I tell I cannot remember her ever saying something negative about another person. I believe this is what repentance truly means. I want to try to emulate that so that I can avoid the taste of foot for years to come. I am impressed that my mother's experience taught her something that resulted in a true lifelong improvement.
5/19/11
Curse of the Movie
When I was dating I used to wonder if having high standards would make me seem more dorky to girls. No one wants to hear that they have a "sweet spirit". Sometimes you need to allow yourself to have fun and relax when dating, and that might not seem super spiritual. I think I learned something about righteous dating from Carrie.
Shortly before my misison my friends Ted, Lee, Jeremy, and I decided to ask out all four girls from apartment 2B. That's how I ended up on a date with Carrie, even though I didn't know her very well. We decided to go see the new movie "6 Days 7 Nights". It was an exciting adventure starring Harrison Ford. It was also extremely vulgar.
Every sentence had at least one swear word, and after 15 minutes I had heard every word I knew and few I figured I would need to look up. I sat next to Carrie and figured a cool guy would say something to his date at least once during the movie, but I couldn't think of anything to say. There were obscene gestures and lewd behavior, which made it hard to think about being charming. Finally for lack of anything better to say I said, "Sure a lot of vulgar language, isn't there?"
Carrie seemed to sigh and said, "Yeah, do you think we should leave?"
Honestly that thought had never occurred to me. The language was bad, but the plot was interesting, and I wanted to see how it ended. I really had no intention of not finishing the movie. After all, this wasn't the first movie I had seen which had profanity. Never have I actually gotten up and walked out of a movie! Can you imagine how dorky it would seem if you ended a date because someone swore. Then I realized she wouldn't have asked if she wasn't thinking it herself. Fortunately I said the right thing: "You know, I was just about to suggest that. Why don't we leave and go get a treat?"
She looked thrilled and turned to Lee and his date. I talked to Jeremy and his date. The 6 of us decided we would leave the movie. When they told Ted's date she commented, "Leave? Why? This isn't so bad. We're going to stay and watch the movie." The trip to get ice cream and the drive back to their apartment was filled with discussion of how uncomfortable the language was. These girls said that it was very distracting. They also said it was just a movie, and they wondered why they put themselves through it just for a date.
You might wonder whether it really matters, but Moroni said it clearly, "For behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge; for every thing which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God." (Moroni 7:16) These girls could tell they were not watching a good movie.
And then they talked about how heroic we were for wanting to pull them out of such an inappropriate show. I was worried it would seem lame, but they felt like we were knights in shining armor trying to protect them from the evil in the world. We talked much more than we would have during a movie, and when we got back to their apartment one of the girls wanted to change the dirty feeling to something spiritual. That was how we ended up reading scriptures on a date.
I can't imagine a more "church dork" thing than to read scriptures on a date, but it was actually very fun. We talked about things we learned in Sunday School class, guessed about why the Lord would do things, and I think we bore testimonies without really meaning to. At the end they said we had turned their worst date ever into one of their best dates ever. We felt like a million bucks, and I realized how good I felt on my date with Carrie. Instead of being a turn off her spirituality was a turn on.
Now I understand why Issac told his son "Thou shalt not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan. Arise, go to Padan-aram, to the house of Bethuel thy mother’s father; and take thee a wife from thence of the daughters of Laban thy mother’s brother." (Genesis 28:1-2) Issac wanted Jacob to marry a girl that would support and understand their values and knowledge of Christ. Since I was going to fill out my mission papers soon it's not like I could date Carrie seriously, but I realized that I wanted to marry the kind of girl that would enjoy a dorky spiritual date.
The last part of the story came the next day when we caught up to Ted. We asked him how the movie ended, and after summarizing it in three sentences he said "It was just a movie. I've seen lots like it, and I'll probably see more. It's not like my life is better for watching it. After you left I really noticed how much vulgarity there was, and then I wished my date had wanted to leave. I was really turned off by the fact that she seemed to think it didn't matter. I don't think I would want to date a girl that was annoyed when others tell her something is inappropriate." Spirituality is a turn on for me, and the opposite is also a turn off.
Shortly before my misison my friends Ted, Lee, Jeremy, and I decided to ask out all four girls from apartment 2B. That's how I ended up on a date with Carrie, even though I didn't know her very well. We decided to go see the new movie "6 Days 7 Nights". It was an exciting adventure starring Harrison Ford. It was also extremely vulgar.
Every sentence had at least one swear word, and after 15 minutes I had heard every word I knew and few I figured I would need to look up. I sat next to Carrie and figured a cool guy would say something to his date at least once during the movie, but I couldn't think of anything to say. There were obscene gestures and lewd behavior, which made it hard to think about being charming. Finally for lack of anything better to say I said, "Sure a lot of vulgar language, isn't there?"
Carrie seemed to sigh and said, "Yeah, do you think we should leave?"
Honestly that thought had never occurred to me. The language was bad, but the plot was interesting, and I wanted to see how it ended. I really had no intention of not finishing the movie. After all, this wasn't the first movie I had seen which had profanity. Never have I actually gotten up and walked out of a movie! Can you imagine how dorky it would seem if you ended a date because someone swore. Then I realized she wouldn't have asked if she wasn't thinking it herself. Fortunately I said the right thing: "You know, I was just about to suggest that. Why don't we leave and go get a treat?"
She looked thrilled and turned to Lee and his date. I talked to Jeremy and his date. The 6 of us decided we would leave the movie. When they told Ted's date she commented, "Leave? Why? This isn't so bad. We're going to stay and watch the movie." The trip to get ice cream and the drive back to their apartment was filled with discussion of how uncomfortable the language was. These girls said that it was very distracting. They also said it was just a movie, and they wondered why they put themselves through it just for a date.
You might wonder whether it really matters, but Moroni said it clearly, "For behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge; for every thing which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God." (Moroni 7:16) These girls could tell they were not watching a good movie.
And then they talked about how heroic we were for wanting to pull them out of such an inappropriate show. I was worried it would seem lame, but they felt like we were knights in shining armor trying to protect them from the evil in the world. We talked much more than we would have during a movie, and when we got back to their apartment one of the girls wanted to change the dirty feeling to something spiritual. That was how we ended up reading scriptures on a date.
I can't imagine a more "church dork" thing than to read scriptures on a date, but it was actually very fun. We talked about things we learned in Sunday School class, guessed about why the Lord would do things, and I think we bore testimonies without really meaning to. At the end they said we had turned their worst date ever into one of their best dates ever. We felt like a million bucks, and I realized how good I felt on my date with Carrie. Instead of being a turn off her spirituality was a turn on.
Now I understand why Issac told his son "Thou shalt not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan. Arise, go to Padan-aram, to the house of Bethuel thy mother’s father; and take thee a wife from thence of the daughters of Laban thy mother’s brother." (Genesis 28:1-2) Issac wanted Jacob to marry a girl that would support and understand their values and knowledge of Christ. Since I was going to fill out my mission papers soon it's not like I could date Carrie seriously, but I realized that I wanted to marry the kind of girl that would enjoy a dorky spiritual date.
The last part of the story came the next day when we caught up to Ted. We asked him how the movie ended, and after summarizing it in three sentences he said "It was just a movie. I've seen lots like it, and I'll probably see more. It's not like my life is better for watching it. After you left I really noticed how much vulgarity there was, and then I wished my date had wanted to leave. I was really turned off by the fact that she seemed to think it didn't matter. I don't think I would want to date a girl that was annoyed when others tell her something is inappropriate." Spirituality is a turn on for me, and the opposite is also a turn off.
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