Driving Blind

In Texas it doesn't get cold very often.  When I lived in Utah I had several ice scrapers in my car, and a pair of mittens in the glovebox, and I always left early so I could warm up the car.  It's surprising how quickly I forgot those things when I moved to a hot climate.

Texas has two seasons, summer and January.  So one January morning I came out of the church after teaching early morning seminary and found my car windows frozen.  I remembered taking the time to defrost the windows when I came to the church, but I wanted to get home in a hurry so I decided not to wait for the car to warm up.

Ice scraper?  Negative.
Mittens?  Negative.
Time?  Negative.

I guess I'll move to plan D.  With the car heater on high I whipped out the trusty credit card.  Now my hands are freezing, and I figure the Texan sun will defrost my windows soon enough.  I need a quick solution, so I etched out a credit card sized hole in the frost and jumped in.

Sometimes in life things seem as clear as a clean windshield.  Like on my mission, I knew God's plan, and I knew my role.  When I was first married I knew what was important and how to treat it.  Then life somehow makes things cloudy.  Nephi described a "mist of darkness" (1 Nephi 8:23) which is sent by "Satan, yea, even the devil, the father of all lies, to deceive and to blind men" (Moses 4:4).

With my mini view I can see a tiny square of the road ahead, and a sliver at the bottom where the defroster has cleared some space.  Don't worry, I know where I'm going.  I've driven from the church to my house hundreds of times.  All I need is to see whether there's a car ahead of me.  Confidently I backed out and zoomed forward.  This icy problem has made me a few minutes later, so even before I get out the parking lot I've gotten up to 20 mph.

When I came off my mission I meant to read my scriptures every day - I just got busy.  And after marriage I meant to say prayers in the morning, sometimes I just had a lot of work to do.  Before I know it my spiritual windshield is frosted over with worldly things.  I think that's why Jesus said, "seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow" (Matthew 6:33-34).  To clear my spiritual slate I should take the time to pour myself into scriptures, prayer, and meditation.  But I'm so busy!  Instead I etch out a tiny verse of scripture, a half hearted prayer, and away I go.

As I zoom through the parking lot squinting at the exit 50 yards ahead from the sliver of space at the bottom of my windshield I see five feet ahead of my car something I forgot about.  The church parking lot has islands with a curb and grass in the middle.

The next second felt like a terrifyingly long time.

A spiritual crisis is so much worse.   There have been times when a trial comes, and I realize I don't have the spirit when I need it.  A monster speed bump in life and I've let my view of heaven get clouded over.  Why?  Because I was in too big of a hurry to read my scriptures and pray with real intent.

I slammed the brakes and the car left five foot skid marks down the parking lot.  The tires bounced against the curb, but no real damage was done to the vehicle.  I sat there for a few minutes catching my breath.  Then I got out and scraped every bit of frost off every window on that car.  By the time I got back in the car I was late, but I was safe for the drive home.

After my mission I realized I wasn't reading my scriptures the way I used to on my mission.  It's like the windshield to the Holy Ghost was clouded over.  If I was called at two in the morning to give a blessing, would I be spiritually ready?  One day after I was married I realized my work was taking priority over prayer.  I made goals to rededicate myself and the windows of heaven shined clear.  Sometimes I still get busy and forget to give the Lord my time, but then I see skid marks across the church parking lot and I remember the lesson that it's better to be safe than to be fast.

Unpack the Ice

Moving is always scary, especially if you have no idea what you're moving into.  When I was at BYU and Thomas was just born I did an internship with an actuarial firm in Denver Colorado.  We didn't know anybody in Denver, but through the internet we found a place that would give us a 3 month lease on an apartment.  We packed inflatable mattresses, packed an ice cooler of food, and a few other things and headed to Colorado.  We thought we were lucky.  Until we saw the place.

To be polite I won't tell you the name of our apartment complex, but we called it "Felony Ridge".  The first day was rough - tough looking neighbors, spiderwebs in the ceiling, and the late night partying showed this was not a great area of town.  Our neighbors down the hall screamed death threats at each other, scary characters in the parking lot hid bags in their car doors, and our neighbor across the hall admitted her boyfriend had a warrant.  We kept our doors locked.


Teasha was very brave, but sometimes I got the impression she was trying to hide when she cried.  When I was gone to work she would spend a lot of time on the phone with her old church ward members.  When I would come home she would ask if we could get in the car and drive to a different part of town.  I could tell the whole situation was wearing on her.

In the next few weeks things started to change.  The girl across the hall was in an abusive relationship, but this guy was a better than the last few she had lived with.  She wondered how we kept things together so well.  We shared our testimony of the Lord Jesus Christ, and explained how a church helps people to get their lives in order.  We found some fantastic places to take our young toddler Thomas, and found such fun places to shop in Denver.  Teasha and I grew closer together, and learned to turn to each other when things were rough.  The Denver library has an amazing DVD collection, and we had regular movie nights.  And when the lesbian couple down the hall had a screaming fight, we shook our heads and held each other close.

One evening we returned from the store, and I had a pint of ice cream to put in the freezer.  When I opened the door I found the freezer was packed solid with ice.  This is not normal for us, since we don't use ice that much.  Come to think of it, the last time we needed ice was 3 weeks ago when we moved in.  I asked Teasha, "Dear?  What's with the ice?"

"Oh," she admitted, "That's from when we moved here.  I kept it because I figured if I needed to go back home I could throw the ice back in the cooler and be packed up in less than 10 minutes."
"You stored this so you could go home in 10 minutes notice?"
"Yeah, at first I didn't think I would survive here.  I really thought one of these days I'd send you a note and head out."
"Ok.  And what do you think now?"
"I think we should unpack the ice.  We're here to stay, and whatever happens we'll face it together.  I've learned the world can't touch what's really valuable."

We threw the ice in the sink, and ever since then we've had the saying "Unpack the ice" to mean it's time to dedicate yourself to your circumstances.  You can't keep one foot on the dock and one in the boat.  Even the Savior said, "No man having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God" (Luke 9:62).  This is lesson is especially true in relation to the things of God.  "Choose you this day whom ye will serve... As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord" (Joshua 24:15).  Pick which side you will be on, and then unpack the ice.

Some people have ice called fear, which stops them from accepting callings or a responsibility.  For some their ice is personal desire, which seem too painful to give up for the Lord.  I know people who had a grudge as their ice, and it kept them from church activity or service.  Those who say "Here am I, send me" (Isaiah 6:8) an unpack the ice will be blessed all the greater. The road may be as tough as it was for Paul, or it may be as wonderful as the Nephites in 100AD, but dedicate yourself to serve the Lord under whatever circumstances come your way.  Unpack the ice and be happy with where the Lord wants you to be.