Cleaning the Centrum Dirty

After my mission I worked for the Centrum at SUU, which was a large basketball arena. My job was to be a custodian for several classrooms around the arena. The hallway that ran around the Centrum had a vaulted ceiling at least 30 feet high. One day after a crowded concert we found a massive wad of paper towel that had been drenched in water and thrown on the wall. It was about 25 feet in the air and because it had dried it was stuck like glue.

After some debate on how to get it I attached several poles together with a scrubby at the end. It took a huge effort to get the poles up to the right spot. Finally we knocked the wad off the wall and scrubbed the extra pieces off. I was proud of the accomplishment until the boss said, "Aw crud! Look what we did to the wall!"

The walls of the Centrum were white, or at least I thought they were. Looking at the spot we had just cleaned it shone with a shiny bright white, and it made the rest of the wall look dingy. The boss sighed, "We just cleaned the whole rest of the building dirty."

Sometimes repentance is like that. Once you get one part of your life fixed up it makes you realize how many other pieces are dingy too. As I improve my scripture reading I find myself pondering how well I write in my journal, how often I visit the temple, how faithfully I follow the prophet's council to grow a garden. Because I have repented in one area all the walls of my spiritual Centrum start to look a bit gray.

Of course there was debate for how to do a quick fix on the Centrum wall. All sorts of ideas on how to smudge up that spot until it matched the rest of the wall, or maybe cleaning around the spot with only a half job, so the difference was harder to spot. The problem was we could never make that spot look the same, and as long as it was different it stood out. The boss said we needed to scrub all the walls and ceiling of the Centrum.

The Lamanite king known as the father of Lamoni once said, "O God ... wilt thou make thyself known unto me, and I will give away all my sins to know thee" (Alma 22:18). The king realized that to repent he would need to change every aspect of his life, not just scrub one little sin. I may try to fool myself by claiming I don't really need repentance, or maybe I can try a little harder in a few related areas, but the only way to truly be like Christ is to have a massive overhaul. In the scriptures this is called a "mighty change of heart" (Alma 5:14)

Think of it like a spot of sin. We've all got them, and sometimes they are discreet, other times they stick out like a giant wad of paper towels. It's going to take work to get that ugly stain cleansed, but there is no sin so terrible that we cannot reach our goal to repent.

That summer we acquired a drivable hoist with a platform that went up 25 feet in the air. We took turns, but for 8 hours a day five days a week for three months someone was up in that bucket scrubbing. It was hard work, and many times I wondered if it was really worth it. The sight of those gray walls would make my stomach queasy.

I like to ask "Is it hard to live the gospel?" I think the answer is "YES! At first... but then it gets easier after a while. After that, NO, it's not hard at all". There is a change... a mighty change of heart. At first the idea of reading scriptures every day, of watching every word that I say, of sharing the gospel with a friend makes my stomach queasy. But then as I practice I start to feel something else. I get excited.

Walking through the shiny white halls and seeing the line of gray showed me we were making progress. It was exciting to see how close we were to completion. Eventually we made it all the way back around to that tiny spot where the oversized spitwad was cleaned. Finally the spot could no longer be found on the sparkly white hall. The boss commented that the job probably

hadn't been done in decades, and it was good to have the place clean top to bottom. I have to

admit - it looked good, and I was proud of my work.


The Lord has promised us a beautiful end to the story, as glorious as the "glory of the sun" (1 Corinthians 15:41). It's hard to imagine standing before the Savior, but if we are clean in sparkling white we will say it has all been worth it. Keep that goal in mind when you find another fault that needs repentance. By cleaning the rest of the Centrum dirty we eventually ended up with a spotless building
.

Sunday Computer Games

I often ask the youth what their parents have said about computer games on Sunday. Their responses are impressive - the parents have rules that are clear and have been explained. This is impressive because to my knowledge the authorities of the church have never laid down any rules, yet parents have realized this is a topic that cannot be ignored. When I was a child computer games were rather new, so it was up to my brother and I to decide what was acceptable.

I have fond memories of the two of us spending the entire Sunday crawling through level after level on some game. Many of the games required us to take turns, and since my brother was a better player his turns usually lasted longer.

One Sunday after church and lunch I remarked to my brother, "First one to the Nintendo gets to play first!" He grabbed a church magazine and shocked me,
"You go ahead, I don't think I'll play today." I was stunned,
"Why not?"
"It's Sunday. I've decided not to play games on Sunday anymore."

I thought about that.  It was a profound statement from my older brother.  I had been taught in primary, and I understood the principle of sabbath observance.  After thinking for a moment I came to the conclusion that I believe was the only natural one for me:

"Cool!  That means I don't have to share at all!"

I rushed downstairs and played the whole day away and had a great time.  Then the next Sunday came.

"Are you going to play today?"
"No, Scott, it's Sunday."
"Cool!  I know exactly which game I want to play!"

And again I had a great time.  It was so neat to have no school, no Saturday chores, and no one to share the Nintendo with.  The next week came.

"I'm going to play, you coming?"
"Nope"
"Great!"

And I had a great time playing without my brother who wouldn't play because of some silly Sunday rule.  Obviously he felt like it was a sin, even though he hadn't told me I was wrong.  My brother never budged - once he made a decision he was stable, but I was confident when he saw what he was missing out on he would change his mind.  Especially since that week we had just bought a new game.

"Hey, I'm going to play the new game - are you coming?"
"Nope"
"Great - I bet I get past the level you've been working on!"

Sitting in front of the TV my mind couldn't help but think about my older brother's decision.  "Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy" (Exodus 20:8) is pretty cut and dried.  Would this computer game count as "holy"?  It wasn't a commandment to not play computer games, but "For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward" (D&C 58:26).  Obviously he believed there was some blessing he would get, and whatever it was I wanted it too.

I put down the controller and decided not to play on Sunday anymore.  That first week I missed it - like an extra day of fasting.  But each week the definition of "Sunday" started to change.  It wasn't about playing games, in fact it wasn't even about me - it was about the Lord.  After some time I found Sunday was a chance to put myself right with the Lord. 

My brother never preached what he believed, he never told me that I was wrong, and I never told him I had quit because of him, but his quiet example had a profound impact.  I began to search for other ways to make the sabbath special, and I found Sunday became a delight.  Sometimes the best lessons are taught by living what I believe is true.

Baby Shower

There are certain mistakes I had to make before I realized how serious it was.  For example, I know I should never carry a child on my shoulders when the ceiling fan is on.  I know soccer is definitely an outside sport when my wife buys a new vase.  I know love notes should not be done in permanent marker.  And I absolutely know guys do not belong at a baby shower.

When our second child, a baby girl, was about to be born Teasha was given a baby shower.  It's a very exciting time for expecting mothers - they are pampered and praised.  They get gifts and spend hours playing games and talking.  I missed the baby shower for our oldest son, and Teasha asked me if I would consider going to this one.  I said "sure".

Some of the memory is blocked out, but I'll try to recall what I can.


"Ooooooo! Such cute shoes!"
"Awwwwww! That dress is soooo cute!"
"Ooooooo! What darling lace!"

This went on.  And on.  Every woman who came commented on every dress.  There must be some genetic code within the female brain that makes tiny girl clothing irresistible.  Keep in mind these comments must be made in a pitch that is two or three times higher than the normal voice.  Some of them topped out my hearing range.

"Eeeeeee! That is so darling! Widdle bwue bows!"

I don't want you to think I'm callous.  My wife absolutely loved it.  It just wasn't my thing.  I was thinking in my head about how much things cost and wondering whether we would be paying for these gifts with all the baby showers we would attend over the next few years.  I found myself thinking of ways the whole process could be done in half the time, but wisely I kept my mouth shut.  I recognized this was Teasha's party.

They weren't doing the activities and games that I find fun, so it wasn't long before I was wishing I was somewhere else.  The places where I am comfortable says something about myself.  Then I wondered:  Is the kingdom of God a place where I would feel comfortable?  If I was in heaven, would I be bored by service activities and scripture games?  Maybe wicked people aren't in heaven because they don't enjoy celestial life.  If heaven had wicked activities the righteous wouldn't stay.  "But behold, I say unto you, the kingdom of God is not filthy, and there cannot any unclean thing enter into the kingdom of God; wherefore there must needs be a place of filthiness prepared for that which is filthy." (1 Nephi 15:34).

When the gifts were done the stories began.
"I was in labor for 9 days!"
"It hurt so bad I couldn't sleep for two weeks!"
"My baby has his arm bent and the doctor nearly..."
"Oh yeah, well when my fourth child was born..."

I thought to myself, "why would you share horrible stories when my wife is pregnant?"  There must have been some logic, because my wife enjoyed it.  There was talking, tiny fruit trays were passed around, and a host of discussions on breast feeding, periods, and hair.  I was straining to act like it was no big deal and I forced myself to smile as if I enjoyed the party.

"Can ye imagine yourselves brought before the tribunal of God with your souls filled with guilt and remorse"? (Alma 5;18)  I can only guess what the main topics of interest are in heaven, but if my priorities are not right I won't enjoy listening to the angels.  I believe a lot of discussions will be about families, about learning and growth, and certainly a lot of praise for God and His son Jesus Christ.  I want to make those a priority so that I can be part of the heavenly conversation.

The fact that this wasn't my type of party was obvious to the other women there.  "What do you think of all this?" they would ask me.  "Do you feel like a drop of testosterone in a pool of estrogen?"  What am I supposed to respond with?  "I'll bet you wish you'd stayed home, huh?"  I'm thinking 'Yea, but do you really want me to say?'  I found myself searching for an excuse, and when my wife mentioned something about food I jumped up, "Hey, I think I'll head home and start some dinner so you don't have to worry about it today!"  Once I was outside I felt the relief of freedom.

I suspect when judgement day comes it will not be hard to accept the Lord's decision.  Paul said, "There are also celestial bodies, and bodies terrestrial: but the glory of the celestial is one, and the glory of the terrestrial is another.  There is one glory of the sun, and another glory of the moon, and another glory of the stars: for one star differeth from another star in glory.  So also is the resurrection of the dead. It is sown in corruption; it is raised in incorruption:" (1 Corinthians 10:40-42)  

What could be more heavenly than discussing the birth of a new child?  The growth of a family and the greatest adventure God grants to man?  Yet I was not comfortable there and wanted to find somewhere I could hide.   My goal is to seek out the things in life that are "virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy" (Article of Faith 13).  Then I will be comfortable in heaven, and I will want to stay there forever.