Paper Hearts

I am an intellectual person, so I worry a lot about being fooled into something that isn't true.  This is especially true in the subject of religion.  No one wants to find out later that their view of God and Heaven was totally wrong.  The tricky part is life doesn't have a "back of the book" where all the answers are listed.  Sometimes I learn about recognizing eternal truth through stories where someone figured out the truth.  Like T.C.'s paper heart.

My sister Julie is considered beautiful and charming (so they say - brothers never understand things like that about sisters).  As I understand she was asked out regularly, but she was never interested in a serious relationship.  She went to EFY where she worked closely with several men and women to teach the youth about Christ.  In the end all the EFY councilors became good friends.  Including that one guy T.C. that seemed to be a little cocky - maybe dorky, but a nice guy.

On a flight between EFY camps my sister remember being bored on the airplane and looking around.  T.C. remembers how many time Julie turned around and looked at him.  He decided he would keep an eye on the girl that was clearly checking him out.

If you've never been a little bored at church then you're better than me.  Julie would always fold the program into some origami shape.  One Sunday she folded a heart.  It's a little tricky to do, and in the end she was proud of it.  She always passed her origami to the person next to her happened to be that guy; was his name T.C.?  The meeting ended, and it was time for Relief Society.

In T.C.'s mind: "Wow!  That cute girl that keeps looking at me!  Today she sat next to me and made me a heart and gave it to me in front of everyone!  Yes!  This is my lucky break!  She's madly in love with me, but she's not the type to say it out loud!  I guess I'll ask her out, and I'll probably play it cool before we date seriously, and we'd better date a few months before we get engaged.  I want my wife to get the full dating and courtship experience."

Now T.C. believes something that is not true.  What should he do?  Alma said, "Therefore, if a seed groweth it is good, but if it groweth not, behold it is not good, therefore it is cast away." (Alma 32:32).  In other words, it's not a good idea for T.C. to spend his life worrying about whether Julie loves him or not.  He believed she loved him, so he moved forward and asked her out.  If it turned out he was wrong then he would find out naturally.  My sister is the type that always goes on one date with a guy, even if T.C. wasn't the kind of guy she would usually ask out.  He mentioned there was a meeting that he was in charge of and asked if she would be willing to help prepare for that too.  Julie never turns down an opportunity to serve, so she promised she would.  If she had realized she was agreeing to a second date she probably would have said no.

A love story is funny, but what if I was talking about my beliefs on the commandments?  John said, "And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us" (1 John 4:16).  My testimony began because I felt the love of God and could see His blessings.  That's not much to base a religious belief on.  As a teenager I spent a lot of time worrying about whether my love based belief was wrong.  One day I realized that if I was wrong I would be corrected eventually, but until then my religion would help me become a good man.  I decided to move forward by committing to keeping all the commandments as given through the church.

In T.C.'s mind: "Finally a date where I don't have to worry about every detail and watch every word.  She loves me, I can certainly love her, so I can relax and just enjoy dating this time."  Happy and relaxed he fell asleep.

There were several couples who were going to meet at a fast food place to start the date.  Julie arrived as did everyone else... except T.C. who was still asleep.  For an hour Julie had to field teasings about trying to sneak in the group without actually having a date.  Finally T.C. arrived feeling very refreshed.  The men immediately held a council to decide what they should do for the date.  It was decided to get food first, and then a mountain walk afterwards.

T.C. and Julie ordered some fast food, and then T.C. decided he wanted a smoothie.  He was now officially out of money, but he figured, "I pay, she pays, it all comes out of the same pocket.  There's no need to worry about who pays if we're going to get married."  He asked Julie if she could chip in so he could get a smoothie.  Julie paid, but when he got two straws she told him she didn't feel like a smoothie.  What she didn't say was that inside she was boiling mad.

The boys went on the hike, and as the sky went dark they reached the end of the long hike.  Then one of the girls asked if anyone had brought a flashlight.  That caused the group to immediately start heading back.  Long before they reached their cars the night was pitch dark, and there was a lot of scary stumbling around on the mountain path.

Julie and T.C. made it back, and started home.  T.C. then noted the car was out of gas.  Considering Julie would have to pay for the gas (remember - he's out of money), she encouraged him to make it to her house.  They made it, Julie got out, thanked T.C., and went in.

Julie wanted to never see that boy again.  She knew what she wanted in a husband, and this was NOT it.  She could never date someone who didn't care enough to show up on time.  She would never date someone who hadn't planned the date.  And he made her pay!  She would never date someone who didn't think of safety concerns like a flashlight, and the old running out of gas trick?  It was the worst date ever.  Finally it was over and she wouldn't have to try to keep her end of the conversation up anymore.  Surely he could tell he bombed the date, so she wouldn't be hearing from him again.  She would be moving soon, and he would not get her forwarding address

T.C. was floating on clouds.  Julie didn't mind paying, she understood their finances would be eternally shared.  She had trooped right along beside him on the mountain path of life, determined to stay with him through ways that might be rocky or dark.  She didn't seem worried about running out of gas with him, of course.  There wasn't a kiss, but neither of them were first date kiss types anyway.  It was a great date, and T.C. couldn't wait for their second one.


Now T.C. has been given evidence that what he believes is true.  It's certainly not proof, but it does cause him to be more confident that he is going the right direction.  Returning to the seed analogy from Alma: "And now, behold, because ye have tried the experiment, and planted the seed, and it swelleth and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow, ye must needs know that the seed is good. And now, behold, is your knowledge  perfect? Yea, your knowledge is perfect in that thing," (Alma 32:33-34).  T.C. now knew that he enjoyed being with Julie, and that he could be happy with this girl for the rest of his life.  Did he know he would marry her?  Well not yet, but he had good reason to believe it was true since they loved each other

My testimony grew in a similar way.  I had times when my prayers were answered.  Times when the truths taught in church helped me understand my life and purpose.  Most importantly I felt happy and peaceful when I did the things I knew were right, and I felt unsettled when I did something I knew was wrong.  As Joseph said to Pharoah, "And Joseph answered Pharaoh, saying, It is not in me: God shall give Pharaoh an answer of peace." (Genesis 41:16).   Is that proof?  It proves that living according to the LDS standards will lead me to a happy and productive life.  It's proof that I can follow the teachings of the modern prophets.  It's proof that the promises in the scriptures are true.  I decided to be patient while I waited to find out the rest of the truth.

T.C. called Julie and reminded her she had promised to help him with his meeting.  She remembered, and Julie is not the type to break a promise... what did he need?  It was his mission reunion. 

Julie kicked herself.  Why didn't she figure this out before she agreed!  Guys go to mission reunions with their girlfriends.  Julie was starting to realize that T.C. was clueless.  The time when he would start the planning was also the same time Julie's family would be coming to help her move.  She agreed to help him with the planning, but her family would need her after that, so she wouldn't be able to attend the reunion.  Secretly Julie planned on moving after that, and by changing her phone number this problem would be solved.  This was not the kind of guy she could marry, but she wasn't eager to be there when his heart broke.

T.C. heard Julie say that he would meet her family on the planning night.  Wow - meeting her family!  The more he was around her the more he wanted to be with her, so it was great.  A few days later he called and invited her to lunch.  Julie tried to decline, but T.C. mentioned that his mom would be there too, and he wanted Julie to meet her.  Meet his Mom?  Julie decided enough was enough.  T.C. kept pushing so finally she agreed she would try to be there.  When she hung up she decided it was the last time she would see him.

The next day was not a good one.  Standing a guy up was not something Julie did, and she felt bad, but she could not date a guy like that, and he seemed to act like they were engaged.  It was a drastic measure that she would endure and then move on.  She went to lunch by herself, and then took a form to the Church Office Building where she used to work.  By divine plan T.C. also needed to take a form to the Church Office Building to set up the missionary reunion.  She walked in, T.C. turned around.

The expression on her face and on his face told both of them the full story in less than a second.  Confused he pulled out the paper heart she had given him at church.  She said, "Hey, that looks like the kind of thing I fold during church... how did you get one?" 

T.C.'s vision of reality shattered.  For the first time he could see Julie's side of the story.  His beliefs, his faith in their love, his ideas of the future, his feelings about her had been wrong from the start.  Clearly God had led him to the truth.  He had been wrong for a long time, but eventually the Lord made sure T.C. knew what was true.  T.C. is a strong type of guy, so he shouldered the pain and changed his mindset. 

Julie felt awful.  She begged T.C. to keep their planning date.  He knew Julie only wanted the second date to ease her guilt.  He agreed to the date because he knew she felt bad, and he was giving her a way to feel better.

I was there that night.  Julie and T.C. met, and the atmosphere was kind, but not affectionate.  T.C. joked and played with me and my other siblings, he talked about cars with my Dad, and in general he was relaxed and friendly.  He knew Julie was not in love with him, and as such he was having fun with everyone else.  My father had brought the motorhome, so T.C. and Julie sat at the table and talked.  They did a Mad-Lib together.  I remember looking over Julie's shoulder until it was time for me to go.  This was when Julie and T.C. would spend some time together.  They stalled by finishing their Mad-Lib.

By time they had finished Julie realized something.  She had just finished the best date she had ever had.  T.C. was funny, he was relaxed, he was honest.  All the guys she had dated before were constantly putting their best self forward.  With T.C. she knew exactly what kind of guy she was dating.  When the Mad Lib was done she felt sad.  This was the last time she would spend with T.C., and to her surprise she would miss it.  He got along great with the family, he loved kids, he loved life.  He loved her.  She looked at him.  Her face and his face told both of them the whole story in less than a second.  There would be a third date.

And a fourth date.  I guess you could say they are still dating today.  Julie and T.C. discovered what is perhaps the most surprising thing - T.C. was right!  Julie was wrong!  The whole time T.C. believed she would be his wife he was right.  Every time Julie said she could never marry a guy like that she was wrong.  Through patience, work, and faith they eventually discovered the truth.

My testimony has a similar story.  There was a time when I realized my parents weren't always right.  I had followed their church my whole life, but according to modern science I was a fool.  Why would I follow the LDS church when there are so many other christian churches to choose from?  It certainly isn't the easiest church to attend.  One look at the fun things you can do without a church and I decided my religious views were wrong.

It's ok to question your religion - I think I would have to be brain dead to not question it from time to time.  I don't go to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints because the church leaders have told me I can't leave or I can't question our beliefs.  Truth can hold up to intellectual, emotional, and spiritual tests.  But what happens if I convince myself the church is not true?  The Lord said, "For I am God, and mine arm is not shortened; and I will show miracles, signs, and wonders, unto all those who believe on my name" (D&C 35:8).   Jesus has promised to step in when we need His guidance.

The trick is to be patient, and stay righteous.  T.C. could have been rude to Julie when she didn't go to lunch.  Instead he was kind and allowed the second date.  He could have been offish to me, or ignored my father, but he choose to be friendly and happy.  During the times in my life when I wondered whether Joseph Smith was a prophet, or whether the Bible contains the word of God I have still tried to live a clean and righteous life.  Then eventually the Lord will bring his assurance.

"Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth:" (John 16:13)  I remember many nights praying for the Father to help me know what I should do.  The answers I received were spiritual, so describing them with words doesn't work, but it took away my doubt.  One look from the the Savior and I knew he was there.  He loves me, this is his church, and the only true lasting source of happiness comes from righteous living.  That is as true as the fact that T.C. and Julie love each other.