Every child who has ever sat through primary will say "God will help them! God will help them find something to eat!" Even the adults who have a more hardened view of life will bear testimony that surely God will step in and help the missionaries find food.
I'm here to say that when a young man runs out of food his faith is sorely tested.
In
Maravilha there weren't a lot of members, and the ones who were there
often felt like they had to carry more than their share of the work. We
had lunch every week with the same members - Monday was Dilmar, Tuseday
was Amarildo, and so on. Two days of the week we managed our own lunch
which was fine.One week my companion and I found our weekly schedule was empty. One family had recently moved, another had been gone on a business trip. It was near a holiday, so one family was on vacation for the entire week, while another was visiting their friends across town. One sister had family visiting her and asked if she could skip a week. We told everyone it was no problem, we prayed for their safety and wished them well.
The truth was more scary - it was the end of the month, and we were out of food.
A quick note for those who are not aware of missionary finances. A missionary is responsible to pay for their own mission. All missionaries pay the same amount, which in my day was about ten thousand dollars. That money goes into a pool, and each missionary gets a monthly stipend according to their needs. Our stipend was about 160 dollars each month (Brazil is not an expensive place to live).
See, we were getting the same monthly stipend as every other pair of missionaries, but the mission office didn't realize we were paying for our own lunch twice a week. Add the family that moved and the guy on a business trip and we were paying for four extra meals each week. Plus in my other areas there were occasional dinners with the members as well. But missionaries don't complain, we just bought cheaper food and made it stretch further. This month it didn't quite stretch.
I
remember Wednesday night realizing we had 5 more days until our next
monthly stipend (on the first Monday of the month). Half a bag of rice,
a bag of milk, a few pieces of bread, and some crackers. Add a few
extras like jam, butter, and salt. We had to make a choice. We could
contact the mission office, but running out of food doesn't seem like a
proper emergency. We could contact our family in the US, but that would
be worse than calling the mission office. It just didn't feel right to
let food become a distraction to the work of God. Jesus said, "Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things." (Matthew 6:31-32)
We prayed, and both of us acted like we knew the Lord would take care of us. I would be lying if I said I felt completely confident. Maybe it's a guy thing, but when I run out of food I have trouble thinking about anything else.
The next morning presented an interesting side dilemma. We could make that rice stretch further if we didn't eat a lot, but Brazil is hot and tiring, without a full breakfast we wouldn't be able to serve with all our might. We ate a normal breakfast and hit the streets, trusting that something miraculous would happen.
That
Thursday happened to be a day that we had lunch with a member. The
member cooked a large meal, and asked us if we wanted to take some home
with us. That was unusual, and we were thrilled. There's no way we
would have asked ourselves. It made Thursday dinner and Friday
breakfast.Friday at noon we passed a bar where we would frequently chat with the bartender. I suspect he would have been open to the message if he didn't own the bar. He offered us a pop as he often did, and we polished off the last our crackers and jam. That night the sister who asked if we could skip lunch at her house (because she had relatives visiting) brought us some food. We told her that wasn't necessary, but that we believed she would be blessed for her thoughtfulness. When we blessed the food we made sure Heavenly Father knew we wanted her to be blessed.
That lasted for dinner and breakfast the next morning. Saturday at noon I remember being so tired. We moved forward in faith, but our miracles ran out. No one gave us a free meal, no mysterious stranger. Ironically the next day was Fast Sunday, and my companion and I joked about a 48 hour fast making us super spiritual. About 7 o'clock in the afternoon I wasn't feeling so spiritual. Then we passed the house of a family that had been an investigator months before, but they had decided not to pursue the church. We stopped and knocked, a little unsure of how rude it was when they asked us not to return.
They were thrilled to see us, and said things like "We were worried you wouldn't stop by anymore! So glad to see you again! We were just about to eat dinner, won't you join us?" They asked how the work was progressing, and while we ate we told them about the changes in the ward. We shared scriptures that we had studied recently, and encouraged them to read their scriptures. Although they didn't agree to come to church, they did agree to pray and read the Bible, and to seek ways to improve their lives. In the end we agreed to stop by periodically.
Does fasting count if you don't eat because you have no food? I don't know the answer, but my companion and I prayed as if we had a choice, and worked all Sunday without food. By Sunday night I was tired and hungry. Of course missionaries don't complain about being hungry after Fast Sunday, it's like admitting your spirituality isn't as strong as it should be, but in my mind I was thinking God had run out of tricks. We had been blessed for days, and now everyone who could possibly give us food had already done it. It's not like we could go to the store on Sunday even if we had any money. It was going to hurt to be a missionary tonight.
Then my companion said, "Let's go see if the Fatima family is back from their vacation!" It seemed like a bizarre thing to say - they wouldn't be home for another four days, but we had just enough time before going home. Lo and behold they had come home early, and they had spent their first few hours at home baking fresh bread. "Elders! Perfect timing! Would you happen to be interested in taking a loaf of fresh homemade bread home?"
I remember my companion and I sitting at home talking about
the direct and blatant way that God took care of us. We felt the spirit
confirm that we were on His errand, and that he would watch over us. I
quoted the Savior in Matthew before, now let me finish it, "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." (Matthew 6:33-34)
I will always kick myself that I didn't write my testimony in my
journal that night. I remember going to bed with the absolute knowledge
that my companion and I were not alone on our mission.The next morning our stipend came through, we went to the store, and we called the mission president. After explaining our financial situation, the food budget was increased for missionaries in Maravilha. It is a truth that you must take care of yourself enough that you can serve as the Lord wishes you to. I wanted to show the Lord that I had learned my lesson - the missionary work is too important to lose a few days. I learned that every day on my mission I could work hard trusting that the Lord would take care of the rest.
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