Getting an answer to prayer is sometimes touchy. The Lord doesn't always answer prayers the way we want. Sometimes he does it in surprising ways. Sometimes the answer the is no. On occasion I have figured out later that what I was praying for wasn't appropriate. Honestly sometimes I don't know why the answer was no, but even in those cases the spirit whispers that there is a reason. Sometimes the prayer is answered - even when maybe the answer should have been no. That's why I've learned to be careful what you pray for - God really does hear. My senior year of high school the lesson was driven home.
This is a dating story, and you must realize my high school dating life is not exactly shocking. As church leaders have suggested I did not date until I was 16, and even then it was a terrifying experience. While it may be hard to believe now, I was somewhat dorky in high school, preferring math classes over PE and spending my spare time solving logic puzzles. It's not a commandment to date in high school, but I knew I needed to develop my social skills, so every major dance I made an effort to go. Unfortunately there was a general expectation that the guys ask the girls to each dance, which meant I had to go through the terrifying experience of asking the girls out. The only thing to make it worse was the horrid tradition of asking a girl using some melodramatic method: like a singing quartet. By the time my senior prom came I had asked a girl out a dozen times, and every time was a practice in anxiety. Still it seemed proper that the senior prom should be something great.
Ever since middle school I had been in classes with Lindsey Fife. She was intelligent, kept her standards, was kind, and beautiful. That meant I would never ask her out. Still.... senior prom.... Somehow I knew this might be my last chance if I ever wanted to date her. It also meant graduation was near and if I made a fool of myself I would move away to college. I decided I would casually investigate if she had been asked, and if not I would do it. Two weeks before prom with a heart full of fears I went to school.
Usually before class I met with Jeff Holt. He told me he was also planning on asking a girl who might be considered above his level. That morning we asked each other the obvious: "So... did you ask her?" Both of us stated that we were about to, and we weren't absolutely horrified sick about it. We had different classes for first period, but ironically for both of us the girls we were considering happened to be in our first class. Jeff said he would do it first period. I said I would too. I'm convinced neither of us actually wanted to but now there was macho male bravado spurring us on.My anxiety led me to class ten minutes early, and behold! No one else was there except Lindsey! She was there alone - even the teacher was in her office. I walked casually... well strolled, with a bit of coolness... no, no, too much swagger, keep it mature... dang, now I'm walking too stiffly I look like a stupid robot.... what if I sort of shimmy to show I have awesome dance moves? Ok that did not look awesome, am I blushing? GAH!
I hurried and sat down next to Lindsey... well not really next to her, you want to leave a chair between so it's not too creepy... actually it was more like three chairs between us, just to make sure it's not too forward.. still with an empty classroom I was practically sitting next to her. Are my hands shaking? She finally looked up for the first time. I need to say something! Make it cool, make it funny, make it intelligent......
"Uh, hey, what's up?"
She smiled and every emotion jumped. Women never understand how they can yank a guy's feelings around. "I'm excited! Today the orchestra is going on a trip for a major competition and I think we're going to do well!"
"Oh, that sounds cool! I know that's something you love. When do you leave?"
"Right after the start of first period! That's why I'm here early, I need to talk to the teacher about it and make sure I have everything I need. I'll be gone a whole week."
My head spun - she was about to leave for a week long trip? She would be back before prom, but only a few days before! Surely if I waited it would be too late to ask her out - a girl needs time to get a dress. Everyone knows you don't ask a few days before prom. And now she would be gone! This moment, right now is the only time I could have. This was the chance to do something cool and ask her out. If it wasn't in the next 60 seconds the teacher would come in and I would lose my only shot. What could I do? There wasn't time to bake a cake... don't have time to convince a police officer to pull her over... I don't think I'm going to be able to write a poem much less sing it..... GAH!
The only choice would be to straight up ask her to prom. I would look at her and say 'before you go, would go to prom with me?' But wait, had she already been asked? I needed to find out whether she had been asked to the prom or not. I needed to say something.. make it intelligent..... "Uh, well, a whole week huh? That's really something!"
"Yeah! It's a mark that we've been doing so well that we get to go to this. I'm excited. The best orchestra groups from all over will be there."
"Oh! oh... well.... um.... that'll be... a whole week. So ... I really hope you guys do well."
"Thanks! That's sweet of you to say."
Dang it. Double triple gosh darn stupid worthless.... if it weren't for this trip I could find some way to casually ask her what her schedule would be... find out if she'd been asked... then tomorrow I could do something cool to ask her. Make a puzzle or something. But not in 30 seconds. It just wasn't possible. As the teacher came in the classroom I decided it wasn't going to happen this morning, which means it wasn't going to happen at all. Part of me relaxed and felt relieved. Part of me died a horrible painful death.
A few minutes talking with the teacher, other students came in, the bell rang, and Lindsey left.
I lose.
Second period was Calculus with Mrs. Thomas. Jeff had a seat next to mine, and I tried not to look at him as he sat down. My only consolation was that he had the same social awkwardness I did, so at least we could share our failures.
"Pssst.... hey Scott... how did it go?"
I sighed. I knew it was coming. "Yeah, didn't work out. How about you?"
"I asked her! It was before class and nobody else was there, and I just did it! I asked if anyone had asked her yet, she said no, and I asked if she wanted to go with me, and she yes! I am so stoked!"
I groaned and put my head on my desk. "She left to go to an orchestra thing, and I missed my chance. I don't think I want to talk about it." The only thing that could make my wounds hurt more was to know that Jeff had been in a similar circumstance and manned up to the challenge. I officially win the ultimate loser contest.
With my head on my desk and my eyes shut tight I felt pain and shame and disappointment flood over me. In my anguish I fell back to the one source of comfort I have always found. I said a prayer, "Oh Father. I feel awful. I don't usually ask for big things, but this was a big thing. I don't see any way this could even be resolved, and I'm sure heaven doesn't really care about what happens to my prom, but I was wanting to ask Lindsey, and I tried but wussed out. I would just ask, please let me be able to ask Lindsey. It would take a miracle. In the name of Jesus Christ amen."
I sat up, my face was probably a look a resigned failure. Jeff asked, "Well... Scott... let's think of who else you could ask."
At that moment heaven intervened. I was about to witness a miracle, although being filled with insecurity and pain meant my miracle would be terrifying. What I would learn is "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:" (Matthew 7:7) I had asked, and heaven had heard. It was too late to take it back, for God had heard me, and "your Father which is in heaven give[s] good things to them that ask him" (Matthew 7:11). Turns out God did care who I asked to Prom, because it mattered to me.
What I didn't know what the Mrs. Thomas had been watching me put my head on the desk, and she saw that my normally jovial attitude was sad. She heard Jeff's comment and exclaimed in her loud voice, "Ask? Scott are you asking someone to Prom?"
Great! What could make me feel any worse than to have a teacher know? It would be better to explain to her quickly and quietly before more students came in. I mumbled, "Yeah, well, I was going to ask a girl, but I can't, didn't work out."
"Why? What happened?" (doesn't that women have a quiet voice?)
"Well, turns out she left this morning. She'll be gone for a whole week. I lost my opportunity."
"Really? Who was it?" (is nothing sacred? Better to fess up and end this conversation fast)
"Oh, Lindsey Fife. I'm going to find someone else. She was probably a bit above my level anyway. I'm sure someone else asked her."
If this were a movie now would be a good spot to throw in a picture of an explosion. I had just lit a fuse that could not be extinguished.
"LINDSEY FIFE! Why I know her! Boys sometimes don't ask out the best girls because they're afraid to. Lindsey is going on the orchestra trip, but you know they are always late getting going - CHRIS! We need to stop the orchestra bus that Lindsey is on - GO NOW! KARLY - go find out what class her brother Steve is in and ask him if his sister has been asked. LIZ! Find her friend Sarah - she isn't in orchestra - and see if she knows whether Lindsey has been asked, BRITTANY! Get on that bus if Chris managed to stop it and see if Lindsey has been asked. EVERYBODY MOVE! SCOTT'S PROM IS ON THE LINE!"Just the memory of that moment makes me want to crawl in a hole and die. I sat there ramrod straight and shaking so overwhelmed I couldn't even say anything. Jeff and Doug were the only friends who knew of my plight, and suddenly my whole Calculus class knew. Brittany was a cheerleader that I hardly knew, but I still knew her better than Liz. In ten seconds this had exploded far beyond my ability to try to shove under a rug. I was headed for unstoppable humiliation. Why couldn't the Lord have helped me? Instead I was being gutted like a fish for the amusement of everyone else.
As class started I realized something else - I had no choice but to ask Lindsey now. Even if someone else had beaten me to it I would have to ask her at some point or face endless teasing from the rest of the school. I would face my fear.
Chris and Brittany arrived a minute after class had started out of breath. Apparently the bus was already moving as they ran out. Chris ran in front of the bus while Brittany pounded on the door. Brittany ran into the bus, shouted, "IS LINDSEY FIFE HERE?!" A hand from the back slowly rose. "HAVE YOU BEEN ASKED TO PROM YET?" The answer was a timid no. Brittany and Chris ran off the bus, ran all the way back to class and with huge grins reported to the class a successful mission.
Kill me now. If ever there was an answer to any prayer I pray that the Lord may stop my heart and kill me this instant.
Karly came less than 60 seconds later saying she had been directed to Steve's class by friends it the hallway and he reported she had not been asked, and ten seconds later Liz said that Lindsey's friend also said Lindsey had not been asked. Everyone practically glowed the accomplishment of such a difficult mission in such short time. They spoke to Mrs. Thomas, but then nodded to me as if humbly acknowledging they had just saved my life.
Can I kill myself by holding my breath? My gasp for air only made everyone think I was finally relieved. Mrs. Thomas taught something (I have no memory of what) with a huge smile all day. I would die later - there was no question.
On the other hand....
Lindsey hadn't been asked, and now I had over 35 really good reasons to follow through and ask her to Prom. There was no wussing out now.
To the dozen or so that asked me later whether I had a plan I told them I did but it was a secret. Truth be told when I went home I ran to my sister Julie and told her my horrid predicament. With her help we called Lindsey's mom and found out exactly when on Saturday she would come home. Julie helped me plan a cute message written with suckers planted in Lindsey's lawn Saturday evening. Since the mom was informed two weeks early the dress could be acquired without stress.
Looking back it is true that I would not have chosen that method to be the answer to my prayer, and yet it seems oddly appropriate. With an extra 20 years of experience to look back on it, I find myself thinking God knew what he was doing. Isaiah said, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:8-9) Perhaps the reason the Lord's ways are higher is that he has more experience. The answers to prayers always come, but a greater level of experience means the Lord knows the best way to answer them.
Prom was great, partly because after Calculus class I wasn't as worried about humiliating myself. We had fun with a murder mystery date with Jeff, John, and Doug. Everyone had asked the person they most afraid to ask, and the dance went smoothly. Incidentally I have another story of being proud of my date for wearing a modest dress, and this was the dress. My prayers were answered with a blessing upon my head, and it was more than just that night. Later when I met a curly haired girl that would become my wife I may never have had the courage to ask her out without this experience. I knew the Lord would help me, I knew he cared about me, and I knew he wanted me to grow socially and emotionally. I know the Lord answers prayers.
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