You May Now Kiss the Bride

These days we are flooded with things that are neither good nor bad, depending on the circumstances.  The challenge of youth today is to determine when things are appropriate and under what conditions.  The following story illustrates what I mean.

Teasha has some friends (who I choose to simply call the Bride and the Groom).  They were getting married in the temple, and everything was just like the perfect Mormon wedding should be.  The sealing room was packed with friends and family.  The sealer gave them some wonderful advice, and they covenanted with the Lord to hold their marriage sacred.  When the ordinance was completed the sealer said,

"Now there are some traditions which are not part of the temple ceremony, but since that ceremony is now complete you may exchange rings if you like, and you may now kiss the bride."

They gave each other rings as all the grandmothers oooo'ed.  Then the groom leaned in to give his new wife a kiss.

And they kissed

And they moved in and kept kissing.  The kissing became passionate and the hold a little tighter.  Some of the guests began to get a little uncomfortable.

With arms wrapped around each other they were enjoying their first kiss.   An older gentleman cleared his throat.  The looks around the room slowly changed from nostalgia to panic.

And they kissed

One of the relatives finally moved in and interrupted the make out scene.  The bride and groom looked around smiling and left to get ready for pictures outside.

After such a wonderful eternal ordinance was over, what do you think people talked about?  Was it the sacred nature of the marriage covenant, the spirit felt within the walls of the temple, or their desire for the couple to find joy throughout their life?  No.  It was the make out scene in the sealing room.
"Can you believe that kiss?  I think they forgot we were there..."
"I haven't seen kissing like that since I was at the movies...."
"I was wondering if it would ever end..."

Which made me think: "What was inappropriate?"

Was it wrong for them to kiss like that?   No!  They were married, and they had every right to kiss.  That's part of the point of marriage, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." (Genesis 2:24).  There is nothing wrong with the idea that a man would passionately kiss his wife.  I find great joy in marriage, and it would make me sad if my friends didn't understand that one of the blessings of marriage is the closeness that they can now share, including romantic kisses.

Were they not supposed to be in the temple?  Of course they were supposed to be there.  That is where God has told us to get married: "if a man marry a wife by my word, ... and it is sealed unto them by the Holy Spirit of promise, ... it shall be done ... in time, and through all eternity; and shall be of full force when they are out of the world; ... to their exaltation and glory." (D&C 132:19)  It would have been sad if they had chosen to not seek the blessings of the temple.  That sealing room that day was the right time and place for them to be.

So while each piece was good, the combination was inappropriate.  We do not choose the sealing room of the temple surrounded by family to have a personal moment of passion.  I share this story because it is humorous, but more serious problems are common.  Have you wondered who writes the list of swear words?

Swearing is also known as profanity, meaning "to profane", or to take something sacred and use it at the wrong time.  Think of the curse words you know, they probably refer to either sex or God.  Those two topics are so very sacred that we treat them differently, and we don't talk about them flippantly.  "Wherefore, let all men beware how they take my name in their lips" (D&C 63:61) To use the name of God or his Son, his kingdom, or his power as though you were God is like saying, "I know how God should run his kingdom better than God does".  That type of blasphemy is offensive to others, and so those words are swear words.  To talk about sex, the sexual organs, or acts related to them in a joking manner is like saying, "God made rules about sexuality, but I know how to treat it better than God does".  That's blasphemy, it's profane, and it's offensive to others.  We call those swear words.  There may be a last category which is words that demean another race or group of people.  That qualifies as hate speech, and hate is always offensive.

This is the tricky part, it doesn't mean that sex is bad, or we should avoid God.  It means we need to learn how to appropriately treat sacred things.  Since the world is losing it's ability to know what is sacred we must rely on the scriptures and the teachings of the gospel.  For example, "Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain; for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain." (Exodus 20:7).  I am learning to discern what is sacred and when I treat them with reverence they bring me great joy.  Oh, and I learned that when you are told "you may now kiss the bride" you should just give a quick smooch.